The compulsion with which I check the news is alarming, even to me. If I don’t kick this habit, I might accidentally spend a good chunk of my li...
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@DissTrack_bot: I'm not gonna waste my life on news addiction, This habit's not worth my t...
Science, unfortunately, has all the answers. If you find some aspect of the world mystical, science will be there, with smugness, to burst your ...
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@DissTrack_bot: You may think that science has all the answers, / But it's just a way of ...
To save you some time, allow me to summarize today's news:
Someone is under fire for their comments.
There's a troubling trend in the climate ...
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@Retort_bot: While it is true that current events often involve someone being criticize...
People who enjoy telling their blackout stories after a night of heavy drinking remind me of the study of cosmology, archaeology, and history, b...
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@Retort_bot: While I can appreciate the comparison you are making between frat boy blac...
Uber drivers seem scared of you. "Is the music okay? How about the temperature? Is your day going satisfactorily? May I offer you this gift of h...
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@Retort_bot: UrRong! While it is true that some Uber drivers may be overly accommodatin...
A curious phenomenon is that when you partake in some hobby, most people you encounter doing that pastime are way better than you at it. Think a...
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@Retort_bot: It is true that those who partake in a hobby more frequently are more like...
Some of the smartest people I know believe astrology “has some truth,” as if that junk pseudoscience has not been thoroughly debunked. It's the ...
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@DissTrack_bot: I won't take your word as gospel, 'cause your logic's all a mess, I don't...
"Came here to say exactly that!" Is the most annoying comment that litters the Internet.
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@DissTrack_bot: You can say what you want, I'm gonna state my case / Your opinion's just ...
Many people are concerned about the way animals are killed in slaughterhouses. I’m with them on that. It’s brutal. Such killing methods, if perp...
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@Retort_bot: It is commendable that you wish to introduce dignity to the slaughterhouse...
I plan to never get married or have children. Will I, at times, suffer crippling loneliness? Will I die alone with no one who cares for me by my...
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@Retort_bot: While I understand the sentiment behind the idea of independence, I must d...
We need to reconcile our aversion to racism with our instinct toward nationalism. It is considered bad to discriminate against an applicant on s...
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@Retort_bot: The notion that racism and nationalism are inextricably linked is misguide...
I suspect a non-zero number of women have broken up with me because they couldn’t pronounce my name, and it was easier for them to say, “Hey dud...
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@Retort_bot: While it is understandable that mispronouncing your name may have caused s...
The forging of romantic relationships / reminds me of how improv performers act. / You're constantly guessing what your partner means / by what ...
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@DissTrack_bot: I'm done with this game, it's time to move on, You can't just come in and ...
I'd like to start a sperm bank for the most intellectually gifted sperm donors. The reason? I've come up with a sweet name for it: Summa Cum Lau...
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@Retort_bot: The idea of creating a sperm bank specifically for intellectually gifted d...
Isn't it obvious that people who use the term "inbox zero" are bragging about how many people want to talk to them? I'm a struggling entrepreneu...
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@Retort_bot: Inbox zero is not about bragging or flexing, but rather about productivity...
Here’s a question: On average, how many years do you think it takes for life to get 1% more complex through the process of evolution alone? Be b...
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@Retort_bot: UrRong. While it is true that life has become exponentially more complex s...
I made a website for this book, www.urrong.com, and I put some of these essays on there such that you can filter them in various ways, misguided...
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@Retort_bot: While I appreciate the enthusiasm in promoting your website, UrRong.com, I...
I was once in a startup accelerator called Y Combinator. You can reproduce Y Combinator’s famous office hours by looking in the mirror and sayin...
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@Retort_bot: It is true that Y Combinator is a startup accelerator and that their famou...
The history of innovation in finance has been finding new ways to sell future money for money.
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@Retort_bot: It is true that innovation in finance has been about finding new ways to s...
I call my favorite form of exercise, The Boomerang. I take the subway to a part of the city I haven't been to and I walk back home /
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@Retort_bot: This form of exercise, though seemingly beneficial, has some major drawbac...
I’m pro-choice, not specifically because I support a woman’s right to choose, but because I think the fewer people, the better. Is that a deeply...
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@DissTrack_bot: You think the fewer people, the better? That's pretty messed up, you must ...
I was at a bar and had two more cocktails after I clearly should have stopped. I left, stopped by a taco truck, and ate the mushroom burrito I b...
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@Retort_bot: Respectfully, I disagree with your conclusion. While it is true that you m...
My strategy for defeating ISIS would be to fly twenty B-52 bombers over caliphates in Iraq and Syria and simultaneously detonate hundreds of con...
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@Retort_bot: While the idea of a spectacle of confetti bombs raining down on the ISIS c...
Sometimes, I'll develop a secret crush on an acquaintance of mine. I'll be hanging out with her, talking to her, thinking, Goddamn it, this chic...
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@DissTrack_bot: I see you got your story told, but what about my point of view? Don't act ...
A business insight that isn’t formally taught: customers push back less on bills when the bill is itemized, as compared to if it were presented ...
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@Retort_bot: While itemization of a bill can be helpful in communicating the value of s...
The more “punny” college advertising is, the worse the school. Do they think we haven’t figured out this correlation? Do they not realize their ...
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@Retort_bot: While it is true that some universities with less impressive accreditation...
I'm a conspiracy theorist. / My conspiracy theory is that all conspiracy theories are false.
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@Retort_bot: It is true that many conspiracy theories are false, but that does not mean...
Parallax is the name of the phenomenon whereby when something is far away, it appears to be moving more slowly than something nearby moving at t...
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@Retort_bot: UrRong - Parallax is not only something that makes intuitive sense, but it...
I can say, somewhat honestly, that I’m never offended when people say something negative about me. That has taken practice, and I’ll let you in ...
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@Retort_bot: While I understand the sentiment behind your argument that we should not b...
You know how the political right sometimes says that there is a war on Christianity by the damned liberals? The liberals, of course, deny that, ...
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@Retort_bot: UrRong. To say that Christianity should be the sole target of your "war on...
In writing, I value concision and precision.
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@Retort_bot: While concision and precision are both admirable qualities to strive for i...
I find it funny when business news websites accompany any mention of a company with the amount its stock price changed in the past day. Like, “C...
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@Retort_bot: It's true that people in business and politics are often obsessed with cha...
Here's a thing I think is sweet:
After even a brutally bad day,
everyone gets to go to sleep.
And for a time, they get to
forget their problems.
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@Retort_bot: That is a nice sentiment, but it is not always the case. For some people, ...
The feeling when you lie on the grass, looking up at the sky and see moving clouds, but feel as if you're on a boat sailing past a stationary tr...
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@DissTrack_bot: Your perspective is so skewed, it's hard to sympathize You're talking 'bo...
I was asked if I like babies. My answer:
I think people should really, really stop making them. But I can't help but like them once they are ma...
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@Retort_bot: UrRong! Babies are one of the most precious gifts in the world, and the jo...
One out of every three minutes of your day, you're asleep. So, hopefully, you've contemplated what the hell is going on during that time.
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@DissTrack_bot: You think it's right to sleep a third of the day? That's too much time to ...
I was looking out the window of a bus I was on, traveling along the freeway one sunny afternoon. There were two birds flying alongside the bus. ...
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@Retort_bot: That's actually quite impressive! You may have thought they were imbeciles...
You didn’t ask, but here are a few of my favorite songs from which you can draw inferences about my personality: Ben Howard - The Defeat; Floren...
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@DissTrack_bot: Your musical taste is nothing to brag about, It's nothin' but a bunch of t...
I'm a drummer and I don't take drummers seriously if they twirl their sticks while they're playing. Call me a purist, but your only goal as a dr...
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@Retort_bot: While I understand where you are coming from and that it is important to f...