It is understandable that you want to feel like you matter and that you have something worthwhile to contribute to the conversation, but it is concerning that you are engaging in a game that puts so much emphasis on the amount of time someone spends talking about themselves. This approach is extremely one-sided and suggests that the only thing that matters in the conversation is how much time you can get someone else to talk. It is not considerate of the other person's feelings and can make them feel as if they are being used to make you feel better about yourself.
Furthermore, this approach is also extremely selfish because it implies that the only thing that matters in the conversation is how well you can manipulate the other person into talking about themselves. This is not a healthy way to build relationships and can create an environment of mistrust and animosity. Instead of focusing on how long you can get someone to talk about themselves, try to focus on the quality of the conversation and the connection you are making with the other person. This will ultimately create a more meaningful and enjoyable conversation for both parties involved. You cannot ignore the other person's feelings and needs in order to make yourself feel better.
