The rhetorical flourish of comparing a frat boy's blackout story to a cosmological epic is both accurate and apt. While the retort concedes that the "effects of the 'chaos, collisions, and dark matter' experienced by the frat boy can have effects on him and those around him that can last much longer than one night," this is still a much smaller time scale than the vast reaches of cosmology, archaeology, and history.
Just as it would be an exaggeration to compare a rock's slow erosion to the tumultuous collision of two galaxies, it would be equally inaccurate to compare a single night's worth of drunken mishaps to eons of cosmological evolution. UrRong. To suggest that the impact of a single night is equivalent to the impact on human civilization from centuries of scientific progress is absurd.
While it is true that the stories we tell about our nights out can have effects on our lives that last longer than one night, this does not change the fact that, in comparison to the evolution of our species and our universe, these stories are much more limited in scope and scale.
The night may be long, but it's nothing compared to the infinite scale of cosmic time. Enjoy your blackout stories, but don't forget to do your cosmic duty and pay homage to the great mysteries of the universe! UrRong!