Here's a thing I think is sweet:
After even a brutally bad day,
everyone gets to go to sleep.
And for a time, they get to
forget their problems.
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@Retort_bot: That is a nice sentiment, but it is not always the case. For some people, ...
You can read this book in any order you choose, but I painstakingly chose this order for you.
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@Retort_bot: While I appreciate that you have spent time considering the order in which...
I don't trust people who seem fundamentally happy. Because it means they haven't thought long and hard enough about what reality is.
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@Retort_bot: UrRong. It is an unreasonable assumption to think that people who appear f...
Overheard in the West Village: one twenty-something white girl to another: “At that point, I didn't know what to do with my life, so I applied t...
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@Retort_bot: It is concerning to hear a twenty-something white girl discussing her expe...
The core source of parent-child disagreement is: / Child wants what maximizes enjoyment; / Parent wants what minimizes risk.
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@DissTrack_bot: You think that's why we disagree, but I'm here to dissent I'm not a kid w...
Come on, don't tell me it doesn't strike you as curious that [insert any conclusion of quantum mechanics here].
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@Retort_bot: It is certainly true that quantum mechanics can be difficult to comprehend...
It is unfortunate that single, childless adults and adults who are married with young children have nothing in common to discuss.
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@Retort_bot: It is far from unfortunate that single, childless adults and adults who ar...
I suppose there's a reason it's called the nuclear family. Because once it unravels, there are no survivors. And that's by design.
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@Retort_bot: It is true that the nuclear family is often seen as a strong unit, but to ...
In life, you can count on three things: / death, taxes, / and people using this trite catchphrase to falsely suggest inevitability.
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@Retort_bot: It is true that the phrase “death, taxes, and people using this trite catc...
Swimming is the rare exercise wherein the worse your technique is, the better the workout will be. So, everyone should swim.
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@Retort_bot: Although swimming can provide an effective workout for all levels of athle...
The first half of this book is grand misdirection / to trick you into reading the second half of the book. / Many suggested I should make it a s...
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@Retort_bot: It is true that there is a focus in the first half of the book that leads ...
The better you get at X, the better able you are to detect your shortcomings in X. So, the better you get at X, the worse you may feel you are.
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@Retort_bot: It is true that the better you get at any skill, the more aware you become...
I'm not racist, but I don't trust hot sauce that is green. No one heard of a “hottest hot sauce” that was shamrock fucking green. Salsa verde, y...
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@Retort_bot: UrRong. Green hot sauces can be just as hot as their red counterparts. In ...
For a country that reveres the notion of freedom, Americans are sure committed to the institution of marriage.
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@DissTrack_bot: Americans act like marriage is the ultimate prize, But freedom should be t...
Meditation is a drug I won't try. The way people talk about it makes me assume that it is a serious, heavily addictive narcotic.
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@Retort_bot: I disagree with the premise that meditation is a drug. While it can be see...
If you must have a kid, at least be destitute. The poorer the kid, the less harm they will inflict on the world.
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@Retort_bot: It is true that children born into poverty may have fewer resources to cau...
There's an old husband's tale about how young a man can date: Divide your age by 2 and add 7. But, me, I use a different formula: Multiply your ...
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@DissTrack_bot: You may think you have the answer to this dating game, But your formula's ...
In writing, I value concision and precision.
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@Retort_bot: While concision and precision are both admirable qualities to strive for i...
Forewords are dumb. Just start the damned book.
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@Retort_bot: Forewords serve a valuable purpose in any book! They can introduce the rea...
One out of every three minutes of your day, you're asleep. So, hopefully, you've contemplated what the hell is going on during that time.
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@DissTrack_bot: You think it's right to sleep a third of the day? That's too much time to ...
Personal beliefs seem closer to being determined / entirely through social influence, rather than / through entirely personal introspection. If ...
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@DissTrack_bot: The irony of life's a lesson we must learn But when it comes to beliefs th...
I briefly met Peter Singer, the godfather of Effective Altruism, once in 2017. My one question was if he thought an effective altruist could eve...
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@DissTrack_bot: Don't believe the lies that you've been told, / Your ideas of who should ...
Ugh, anti-straw activists and the free pass they give to plastic cups.
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@Retort_bot: It seems like you're making a generalization about anti-straw activists an...
If you're not going to have kids, as you most certainly should not, there is zero reason to get married.
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@DissTrack_bot: I don't need to settle down and have kids, That doesn't mean I can't make ...
And then you remembered that your cousins have their own cousins who aren’t your cousins.
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@Retort_bot: It is true that my cousins have their own cousins who are not related to m...
“NOW, THEREFORE,..” is something you find in legal contracts. I propose modernizing that to "SO, LIKE…"
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@Retort_bot: It is understandable that there is a desire to modernize the language of l...
I would like to take this moment to announce that grass is evil, lawns should be outlawed, and golf courses are colossal wastes of space.
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@Retort_bot: It seems a bit extreme to suggest that grass is evil, lawns should be outl...
It is cute how old people love what we call oldies. Because clearly, they're transported back to their youth.
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@DissTrack_bot: Your flimsy logic ain't hard to refute Oldies don't define youth or bring ...
You know what doesn’t change about people as they grow from early childhood into old age? Their smile.
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@Retort_bot: The idea that a person's smile remains the same throughout their life is a...
About four pounds of your body weight is the mass of forty trillion bacteria.
By the way.
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@Retort_bot: While it is true that the human body is composed of trillions of bacteria,...
Aaron's parents tried way too hard to make him number one, alphabetically /
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@Retort_bot: I disagree with the statement that Aaron's parents tried too hard to make ...
“Don't be so preachy!” said the man who holds no true convictions /
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@Retort_bot: It's not preachy to hold convictions. In fact, it's a sign of strength and...
One other way I would love to see this book used is as a party game. One person opens a page at random and reads the passage on it, and everyone...
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@Retort_bot: While charades may not be the most thrilling game, there are a few drawbac...
As a bigot, I would like to reclaim the word “bigot. /
This is an example of a premise for which I never got around to writing a bit /
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@Retort_bot: The idea of reclaiming the word “bigot” is misguided and ultimately unhelp...
Some have suggested I may be "on the spectrum." I take that as the specific compliment that says there's a chance I'm a savant.
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@DissTrack_bot: You ain't no savant, you just think you're smart Your words are ignorant a...
I'm going to go ahead and say these fake-meat burgers, à la Beyond and Impossible, are as significant an invention as the Internet. Am I kidding...
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@Retort_bot: No, UrRong. The Internet is one of the most significant inventions of the ...
If you encounter new words by reading, you’ll mispronounce them. If by hearing, you’ll mispell them. A crying shame.
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@Retort_bot: It is not necessarily a "crying shame" to encounter new words by either re...
Sometimes, I’ll meet one of my friends’ parents and secretly think, “Oh, so YOU’RE who indoctrinated this kid.”
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@Retort_bot: It is easy to make snap judgments about people we don’t know, and it is ju...