Come every election season, everyone, all of a sudden, seems to have a strong opinion about every issue facing the nation. What I think is actually the case is that no one cares about issues that don’t affect them, and to keep discussion about such issues to a minimum, they pick the side of the issue that most people in their community seem to be on. Why? Because that’s the viewpoint that will end the conversation fastest.

People around you support gay marriage? Word, love is love! People you know think it’s an abomination? Word, thousands of years of tradition has got to be worth something! Next topic! That’s people’s true political motivation: to conclude discussions about issues that don’t affect them.

Hence, we see an electoral college map that is regionally red and regionally blue, both at a national level and local level. Why? I doubt it’s because those regions’ genetic pools and economic realities predispose them toward feeling one way or another about issues that only affect others. It might just be that one thing we can all agree on is that the universal strategy to minimize political discussion is to go along with what people around you believe—whatever those objectively baseless viewpoints happen to be.

Anyway, let’s move on to the next topic, shall we?