I propose updating the standard wedding vows to the more-honest following:
I, Marsha, acknowledge you, Santiago, as whom I was dating at this socially marriageable age. We'll get bored of each other, the fights will never end, and infidelity is a foregone conclusion. But word on the street is single parenthood is harder. So, with these co-witnesses, let's do this thing and relinquish our freedom together.