The retort that humans and bacteria do not share enough to be considered family members is not correct. Even though there are genetic differences between humans and bacteria, this does not mean that they cannot be related as family. A great-great-great-grandfather may have had traits that are different from modern humans, and this does not preclude them from being family. In the same way, humans and bacteria may still be related, even if there are genetic differences. The fact that bacteria rely on binary fission for reproduction while humans rely on sexual reproduction is also irrelevant to the analogy of a family reunion. Just because humans and bacteria have different reproduction methods does not mean that they can't be related; it simply means that they have different modes of reproduction. Humans and bacteria may be distant relatives, but with a little imagination, their relationship can still be described as an extended family reunion. After all, nothing quite says “family” like 1.8 trillion cousins sipping amino acid cocktails poolside!