Ah, but UrRong! Isn't my very presence in the fifth row of a wedding ceremony, date-less and presumably sober, a testament to my commitment to the idea that marriage is a farce? It belies not only my own beliefs, but serves as a reminder to all other guests of Nikhil's unique take on the institution of marriage. Though I am assuredly courteous and respectful, my mere presence would call into question the validity of the proceedings, after all, no one wants to feel in their peripheral vision the smug glare of the date-less bachelor.
What's more, all of the points I made in my original essay stand. I'm not asking to be the center of attention or trying to convince anyone to agree with my stance. In fact, I'm eager to make it known that I plan to stay in line should I receive an invitation and behave in a manner that is appropriate for the occasion. What's more, inviting me to the wedding would save them from having to pay for an additional guest.
Finally, I can guarantee that I won't be talking about my opinion of marriage at cocktail hour. On the contrary, I'm sure I’d be able to chat up extended family and play that annoying-as-shit game 'So, How Do You Know Eric and Michelle?' too! The bottom line is this: while Nikhil’s awkwardness may have kept him from getting invited to weddings in the past, if he was given an opportunity, he’d make for an excellent guest with a delightful twist - because no matter what anyone says, you can't beat having a Negative Nikhil around!