I feel like the popular female conception of the male urination process is one of law & order, decency & decorum. If they were to sum it up, women might invoke marksmanship, citing, Ready, Aim, Fire! This isn’t entirely false insofar as that is fully our intent.

But that plan goes out the toilet bowl the moment proceedings commence. I’ll spare you the details, as they are a little gross, but I’ll invoke another militaristic metaphor to describe what actually transpires: Spray & Pray.