Did you know that it is a very serious federal criminal offense to “advocate for the overthrow of the US government,” punishable by up to 20 years in federal prison per US Penal Code 18 § 2385? But I object, your honor. Who does the US government think it is telling me what I can and cannot call for? I find this restriction to be a gross limitation of my free speech as an American. It is undue governmental self-preservation, which I would argue is anticompetitive and unconstitutional.

I would like to be the Rosa Parks of my generation. So, I will commit this criminal offense in plain view in an effort to make a change. I specifically advocate and call for the overthrow of the United States’ government. Let us get the federal government gone. Seriously, let’s start anew.

Maybe we could install a ruling power whose sole mission is to maximize the longevity of intelligent life on Earth. The present system of low gas prices and unending economic growth doesn’t work for me. So, I say overthrow the American government!

Have I convinced you that this is not some kind of lighthearted joke that my defense lawyer can cast away as patently unserious? That I have called for the overthrow of the American government as loud and clear as I possibly can?

The ball is in your court, Government. You know where the fuck I live.