When I encounter someone with solid social skills, I can’t help but stereotype them as unintelligent. I realize that this is factually inaccurate and mean-spirited of me to say. But I’ll keep digging nonetheless. If you’re extraordinarily smart, you must spend so much time and energy listening to yourself think and read that what’s left of the cognitive capacity you have to offer others amounts to mere table scraps of geniality. Conversely, if you spend little time being lost in thought, assessing incongruencies, then you’ll have all the spare mental capacity in the world to observe how people interact, mimic the successful among them, and become incredibly personable along the way. This is the bigotry I lay claim to. Yes, I know this is a hurtful stereotype directed at a group of people that has within it brilliant members. Yes, I’m broadly affixing the labels of “dumb,” “poorly read,” and “social imitator” to the celebrated community of well-spoken, affable socialites. But, fuck it. Someone’s gotta pick on the cool kids.