I'm an American of Indian ethnicity. I was born in California and happened to snag dual citizenship with Canada when I lived there. My mom grew up in Delhi, and my ethnically Indian dad grew up in Miwani, Kenya. And let me tell you, I really feel like I won the gender-ethnicity-nationality lottery over here.
As far as being a human goes, it doesn't get easier than being an American-born Indian male. The vast advantages of being born both American and male are well-documented, and I won't cover them here. But what's the deal with Indians? I mean, what is the actual deal?
Well, we have delicious food, a spirit of innovation; a celebrated aptitude for math, science, and technology; and unparalleled wit. We're the most educated, highest-earning, longest-living, least divorce-prone. And guess what? There is no punchline! Being Indian in America is simply a delight.
It's like America forgot to be racist toward us. Maybe I lucked out, but I can count on zero fingers the number of times in my life I've personally been subjected to a racial slur or discriminatory practice. The worst I usually get is the incorrect but flattering assumption that I can code.
I'd say in America, Indians have it best. White people have it second best, what with their white privilege and all. But white folks at least get reminded to check their privilege on the regular. Brown is a privilege that has gone wildly unchecked. For long enough. Ahem.
On behalf of Indians, in particular American-born ethnically Indian males living in large, liberal cities, I have something to say: We feel left out. We want in on the societal resentment. We want to imbue our beautiful brown skin with a tinge of brown guilt too!
So, please, the next time you need to scapegoat some ethnic minority for a social ill that plagues our great nation, why not give us a try? I volunteer us to take one for the team.
