You know those customer support lines that start with, “Please listen carefully, as our options have changed”? What the fuck do they think we do with our time? Memorize the sequence of digits to get to their gardening department’s delivery service’s hours of operations on Tuesday in English? That’s as absurd as if your romantic partner started some argument with, “Please listen carefully, as the source of my anger has changed.” It’s like, bitch, I don’t remember which of your buttons I pressed last time. Just tell me what I’ve got to do this time to keep your monologue as short as possible.
