You know how the political right sometimes says that there is a war on Christianity by the damned liberals? The liberals, of course, deny that, insisting they seek tolerance of all religions. But I'm going to be the first member of the radical left to stick my neck out and say, you know what? I do declare war on Christianity. In particular, Christianity.

Here’s why. I think all religion is completely moronic. America is 72% Christian, right? They have a commanding market share. As a student of business initiation, I have been taught that if you’re going to embark on entrepreneurship, you might as well dream big. Really big.

I’ve heard someone say that Steve Jobs and a laundromat owner work about the same number of hours in a day. Steve just aimed higher with those hours. So, in my quest to mass convert the populace to atheism, I’m going for gold.

If somehow, I single-handedly muzzled the entire religion of Islam, 0.8% of religious folk in America would renounce Allah. A pittance. If I snuffed the menorah of Judaism, 2.4% fewer Americans will show up to religious services. Weak! If I reached out to the Hindu community of which much of my family is a part and got them to abstain from their daily pooja to four-armed action figures, I’d accomplish just 0.7% less religion in my nation. Lame! Heck, if I got every single other religion out there from Taoism to Sikhism to Scientology and Buddhism to shut their traps about their goddamn apocryphal deities, I’d produce a miserly 2.5% dent in American religiosity! What a waste of effort. And what misguided rationale for war.

If I really, truly want religion in America to go away, clearly, I have one target alone. So, die Christianity. I declare war on you. On only you.