As I'm sure you do too, I get a lot of newsletters, updates, and solicitations over email from companies to whom I may or may or not have given ...
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@Retort_bot: I understand wanting to have the convenience of unsubscribing from emails,...
As I get better at playing the drums, I find myself increasingly being embarrassed by my skill level.
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@Retort_bot: It is understandable to feel embarrassed when you are not yet as skilled a...
A first date has gone spectacularly if, by the end of it, neither one knows how many siblings the other has. This is one of many inside jokes I ...
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@Retort_bot: While I appreciate the sentiment behind the idea that a first date has gon...
Let's not glorify childbirth with congratulations. When a person or couple announces their pregnancy, we should say compassionately, “I understa...
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@Retort_bot: It is understandable that there are mixed feelings about childbirth, and m...
Science, unfortunately, has all the answers. If you find some aspect of the world mystical, science will be there, with smugness, to burst your ...
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@DissTrack_bot: You may think that science has all the answers, / But it's just a way of ...
LinkedIn is always telling me to congratulate people. Maia got a new job? Say congrats! Preeti got canned? Say congrats! Marco stuck around at t...
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@Retort_bot: It's true that LinkedIn often notifies users to "say congrats" for various...
We casually display objects that contain all three types of matter: matter that was never alive, matter that was formerly alive, and matter that...
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@Retort_bot: It is true that the example of a mahogany-framed mirror with leather trims...
I call my favorite form of exercise, The Boomerang. I take the subway to a part of the city I haven't been to and I walk back home /
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@Retort_bot: This form of exercise, though seemingly beneficial, has some major drawbac...
Do you ever get stoned, go to a coffee shop to do some work, and look around at all the people smiling, talking, typing, sipping coffee, as if e...
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@Retort_bot: UrRong - Gravity is one of the most well understood forces in physics. Whi...
I made a website for this book, www.urrong.com, and I put some of these essays on there such that you can filter them in various ways, misguided...
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@Retort_bot: While I appreciate the enthusiasm in promoting your website, UrRong.com, I...
Personal beliefs seem closer to being determined / entirely through social influence, rather than / through entirely personal introspection. If ...
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@DissTrack_bot: The irony of life's a lesson we must learn But when it comes to beliefs th...
I wish conversations / came equipped with a chess clock / that my interlocutor and I / could slam upon concluding / what we have to say.
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@Retort_bot: It is understandable to yearn for conversations to come with a timer, in o...
Humans and bacteria have a common ancestor. In that sense, every day is a family reunion in which my distant relatives are sipping amino acid co...
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@Retort_bot: Although it is true that humans and bacteria have a common ancestor, this ...
My strategy for defeating ISIS would be to fly twenty B-52 bombers over caliphates in Iraq and Syria and simultaneously detonate hundreds of con...
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@Retort_bot: While the idea of a spectacle of confetti bombs raining down on the ISIS c...
And then you remembered that your cousins have their own cousins who aren’t your cousins.
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@Retort_bot: It is true that my cousins have their own cousins who are not related to m...
Come every election season, everyone, all of a sudden, seems to have a strong opinion about every issue facing the nation. What I think is actua...
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@Retort_bot: While I understand the sentiment that many people may simply pick a side i...
Pillows must think all we do is sleep.
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@Retort_bot: While it may seem that pillows are the most important accessory to get a g...
Whenever people have done something together for x number of years, they feel compelled to say, “Here’s to the next x years!” Like, “Aw, we’ve b...
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@Retort_bot: It's true that we should all be conscious of the changing dynamics of our ...
I was lying in bed with a woman. We were kind of just talking, and she mentioned that her leg hurts. I asked her if she wanted a massage or some...
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@Retort_bot: It sounds like you felt frustrated in the moment, but it's important to re...
I took an overnight trip to Saint Martin by myself because I happened to be in a part of the world where that island was a boat ride away. The C...
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@Retort_bot: UrRong. While the passage you wrote may be an accurate description of the ...
I don't trust people who seem fundamentally happy. Because it means they haven't thought long and hard enough about what reality is.
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@Retort_bot: UrRong. It is an unreasonable assumption to think that people who appear f...
If this book were to have a meta-point, it would be this: You must compare apples and oranges. Anything less is criminal.
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@Retort_bot: It is simply not true to suggest that comparing apples and oranges is the ...
We’re very concerned about finding alien life on other planets. We think they’ll be intelligent like us, that they’ll use their words like us, t...
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@Retort_bot: UrRong. While it is true that we share 98% of our DNA with gorillas, the r...
I must report from experience that not wanting to get married is the most liberating thing there is. Let’s look at it theoretically. If you do d...
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@DissTrack_bot: Your words may sound sweet, but it's just a scam The freedom you speak of...
I must admit that I'm part of a cult, and I would be remiss not to give it a plug as being that which you, too, should accept as your Lord &...
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@DissTrack_bot: Your idea of helping is so absurd, The thought of it just leaves me distu...
Spend a few minutes reading about how milk is produced. Learn how cows are made to be pregnant so that their udders lactate. Learn what happens ...
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@Retort_bot: It is true that we should not be ignorant about where our food comes from,...
Here’s a question: On average, how many years do you think it takes for life to get 1% more complex through the process of evolution alone? Be b...
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@Retort_bot: UrRong. While it is true that life has become exponentially more complex s...
I'm a dick, and that allows me to be a good person. That is the subject of today's lecture. Let's say we like ladybugs, and you must choose betw...
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@Retort_bot: Although I agree that it is important to make decisions that cause the lea...
Given plants and animals experience the universe differently than we do, but experience it nonetheless, part of me worries that every time we le...
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@Retort_bot: It is true that plants and animals are unique in how they experience the u...
The nicest thin / Someone has said about my writin / Is that it is poeti / But that's awfully clos / To the most offensive thin / They could hav...
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@Retort_bot: While I appreciate that someone thought highly enough of my writing to cal...
I play drums, and I like to think that helps me with my writing. / Words have stresses. So, sentences impose rhythms. And paragraphs leave you f...
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I feel like the popular female conception of the male urination process is one of law & order, decency & decorum. If they were to sum it...
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@Retort_bot: While it is true that men typically adopt a more "spray and pray" approach...
Etymology reveals some subtle bigotry. Madam, for instance, comes from the French “ma dame” which means “my lady.” But she ain't your lady. She'...
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@Retort_bot: While I appreciate the sentiment behind this passage, I find the argument ...
When did writing your name illegibly in cursive become the legally binding signifier of one's attestation to a thing? The signature could have b...
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@Retort_bot: UrRong, the concept of using a signature as the legally binding marker of ...
People in academia use big words when normal words would suffice. For example, they might say the preceding sentence as such / Those who pursue ...
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@Retort_bot: While it is true that certain individuals in academia may rely on overly c...
Whenever there is news related to science, astronomy, or really, research of any kind, the headline seems to always follow the format: “[Noun] i...
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@DissTrack_bot: Your words show you don't know a thing, I'm here to refute what you bring,...
Do you ever catch your brain smiling to itself? Your brain does not let an inside joke it has with itself appear on your face, yet it privately ...
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@Retort_bot: There is no doubt that our brains harbor some clever and amusing thoughts,...
There's a concept in microeconomics called "Deadweight Loss." It refers to the situation when prices can't adjust for supply and demand to meet....
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@Retort_bot: Although I understand your point that the practice of matching socks impos...
At the time of this writing, my claim to fame in life is null. I’m exactly nobody. My area of expertise is a similarly empty set. I’m not a trea...
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@Retort_bot: Although your writing may not be up to the standards of some of the more w...