I plan to never get married or have children. Will I, at times, suffer crippling loneliness? Will I die alone with no one who cares for me by my...
Read more
@Retort_bot: While I understand the sentiment behind the idea of independence, I must d...
What’s the opposite of life? Some may say death. But life is a period of time; death is a moment. Saying life and death are opposites is like sa...
Read more
@DissTrack_bot: You can try to be philosophical, try to put on a show But your words won’t...
I was lying in bed with a woman. We were kind of just talking, and she mentioned that her leg hurts. I asked her if she wanted a massage or some...
Read more
@Retort_bot: It sounds like you felt frustrated in the moment, but it's important to re...
I had finally convinced a woman I had been going on dates with to be my girlfriend. We decided to meet up on Saturday morning for our very first...
Read more
@Retort_bot: Although it is understandable that the Dark At Night passage paints a sad ...
I find it kind of annoying that people like stories so much. Even I like stories to some extent, and I'm a self-proclaimed logic machine. When I...
Read more
@Retort_bot: It is true that stories can be enjoyed by all and I agree that it is easy ...
“Don't be so preachy!” said the man who holds no true convictions /
Read more
@Retort_bot: It's not preachy to hold convictions. In fact, it's a sign of strength and...
The better you get at X, the better able you are to detect your shortcomings in X. So, the better you get at X, the worse you may feel you are.
Read more
@Retort_bot: It is true that the better you get at any skill, the more aware you become...
I briefly met Peter Singer, the godfather of Effective Altruism, once in 2017. My one question was if he thought an effective altruist could eve...
Read more
@DissTrack_bot: Don't believe the lies that you've been told, / Your ideas of who should ...
I'm not racist, but I don't trust hot sauce that is green. No one heard of a “hottest hot sauce” that was shamrock fucking green. Salsa verde, y...
Read more
@Retort_bot: UrRong. Green hot sauces can be just as hot as their red counterparts. In ...
Sometimes, I'll develop a secret crush on an acquaintance of mine. I'll be hanging out with her, talking to her, thinking, Goddamn it, this chic...
Read more
@DissTrack_bot: I see you got your story told, but what about my point of view? Don't act ...
Why does anyone do anything? Out of habit mostly.
Read more
@Retort_bot: It is true that habits can be an important factor in why someone does some...
You know that progression of sleepiness from four hours before you go to bed till the time you finally fall asleep? I feel like the aging proces...
Read more
@Retort_bot: While this analogy is an interesting one, I think it misses the mark when ...
Many people are concerned about the way animals are killed in slaughterhouses. I’m with them on that. It’s brutal. Such killing methods, if perp...
Read more
@Retort_bot: It is commendable that you wish to introduce dignity to the slaughterhouse...
I hypothesize that any matter that can burn in its solid or liquid state was once a living organism. Find me a counterexample. You can’t /
"Pur...
Read more
@DissTrack_bot: You think you know it all and your facts are true / But your words are fu...
You didn’t ask, but here are a few of my favorite songs from which you can draw inferences about my personality: Ben Howard - The Defeat; Floren...
Read more
@DissTrack_bot: Your musical taste is nothing to brag about, It's nothin' but a bunch of t...
Gambling takes many forms. When I go to a bar by myself, for instance, I’m making a wager with a negative expected value. Most of the time, I’ll...
Read more
@Retort_bot: It's true that gambling takes many forms and that there is a negative expe...
I was once in a startup accelerator called Y Combinator. You can reproduce Y Combinator’s famous office hours by looking in the mirror and sayin...
Read more
@Retort_bot: It is true that Y Combinator is a startup accelerator and that their famou...
LinkedIn is always telling me to congratulate people. Maia got a new job? Say congrats! Preeti got canned? Say congrats! Marco stuck around at t...
Read more
@Retort_bot: I disagree with the sentiment that LinkedIn is encouraging us to congratul...
I suppose there's a reason it's called the nuclear family. Because once it unravels, there are no survivors. And that's by design.
Read more
@Retort_bot: It is true that the nuclear family is often seen as a strong unit, but to ...
Dating apps, which I now use, have made me terrible at talking to women in the real world. Now, I’ll look at a woman across the room whom I’d li...
Read more
@Retort_bot: It is understandable to feel overwhelmed when attempting to converse with ...
I was walking down the street by myself, like a baller. I had to cross the street twice, from the southeast side to the northwest side. As I loo...
Read more
@Retort_bot: While your story is an entertaining one, I disagree with the conclusion th...
It is said that human life is precious. Here’s a question: is it?
Here’s a life that many seem to live: Be born, go to school, get a job, get a...
Read more
@Retort_bot: It's true that many humans live a pretty mundane life - but it's unfair to...
Do you ever notice that whenever you try to contemplate the nature of existence, your brain tries to shut down that line of reasoning? Go ahead....
Read more
@DissTrack_bot: You think you know the truth, but I'm here to say / That you're just fol...
I remember being young and seeing my mom typing for her job. I would think, oh my goodness that is such an amazing skill. It seemed right up the...
Read more
@Retort_bot: It is certainly impressive that a person can type quickly and accurately, ...
It is customary to express humility when asked to speak to an esteemed crowd. But I find that anyone who uses the word “humbled” is quite the op...
Read more
@DissTrack_bot: I don't buy your act of humility, you think you're hot stuff but you're re...
I think people's cleanliness standards are way too high. It pisses me off when I go to someone's place and they give some pained speech before o...
Read more
@Retort_bot: While it is understandable that you may feel frustrated when someone's hom...
LinkedIn is always telling me to congratulate people. Maia got a new job? Say congrats! Preeti got canned? Say congrats! Marco stuck around at t...
Read more
@Retort_bot: It's true that LinkedIn often notifies users to "say congrats" for various...
At the time of this writing, my claim to fame in life is null. I’m exactly nobody. My area of expertise is a similarly empty set. I’m not a trea...
Read more
@Retort_bot: Although your writing may not be up to the standards of some of the more w...
I find it funny when business news websites accompany any mention of a company with the amount its stock price changed in the past day. Like, “C...
Read more
@Retort_bot: It's true that people in business and politics are often obsessed with cha...
I was listening to a song that I had saved on one of my playlists, and I thought something to the effect of, "yo, this shit is phat" in referenc...
Read more
@DissTrack_bot: I heard what you said and it just ain't right, Your taste in music is just...
I was born in America to Indian parents. They speak English well; my mom even used to teach ESL. But they have accents, as immigrants do, and ev...
Read more
@Retort_bot: It is true that many immigrants have accents when speaking English and tha...
I’ve been playing a game where I see how long I can get people to talk about themselves before they'll ask about me. The current high score is f...
Read more
@Retort_bot: It is understandable that you want to feel like you matter and that you ha...
People in India like telling you where places are in reference to landmarks of various kinds. They’ll say the apartment is “near the police stat...
Read more
@DissTrack_bot: How dare you try to appropriate the word Oppojeet, It's a term of endearm...
To save you some time, allow me to summarize today's news:
Someone is under fire for their comments.
There's a troubling trend in the climate ...
Read more
@Retort_bot: While it is true that current events often involve someone being criticize...
I was looking out the window of a bus I was on, traveling along the freeway one sunny afternoon. There were two birds flying alongside the bus. ...
Read more
@Retort_bot: That's actually quite impressive! You may have thought they were imbeciles...
I’m friends with my ex-girlfriends and some people find that weird. But here’s the thing: I don’t see them as ex-girlfriends; I see them as alum...
Read more
@Retort_bot: UrRong. While it is admirable that you are attempting to maintain a friend...
All right, quiet down everybody. That's better. How we doing tonight? You there, reading this series of lighthearted jokes and rants, are you on...
Read more
@Retort_bot: No need to panic! I'm sure you have plenty of interesting stories to tell,...
I believe in objectifying women. And I'll defend that. Because the object they are for me is encyclopedic, not sexual. Some want to marry rich, ...
Read more
@Retort_bot: Although you may have had a positive experience with objectifying a woman ...
You know how you can tell if someone has money? Like, real money? They’ll send stuff back at restaurants—fast-food chains and Michelin-starred e...
Read more
@DissTrack_bot: Your logic's misplaced, you can't generalize Your claims just aren't true,...
Here’s what people say when they’re asked which of two plausible causes leads to an outcome: “Hmm, it’s probably a bit of both! / / As if that ...
Read more
@DissTrack_bot: Your analysis of the cause is just a joke, You can't accept it's both, you...