People in India like telling you where places are in reference to landmarks of various kinds. They’ll say the apartment is “near the police stat...
Read more
@DissTrack_bot: How dare you try to appropriate the word Oppojeet, It's a term of endearm...
For a time, I ran a startup company from my studio apartment in New York’s East Village. My daily routine was to wake up naturally, spend an hou...
Read more
@Retort_bot: It's true that doggy style is a popular position among most animals, but t...
I'm a conspiracy theorist. / My conspiracy theory is that all conspiracy theories are false.
Read more
@Retort_bot: It is true that many conspiracy theories are false, but that does not mean...
Entitlement is a thing that gets frowned upon. It is the internalized belief that says, "Yes, this is owed to me. Yes, I am deserving of that." ...
Read more
@Retort_bot: Contrary to the belief that entitlement is something to be discouraged, I ...
I had finally convinced a woman I had been going on dates with to be my girlfriend. We decided to meet up on Saturday morning for our very first...
Read more
@Retort_bot: Although it is understandable that the Dark At Night passage paints a sad ...
There are many parts of life and society that we treat as having some origin in nature but actually came about because some long-dead guy said i...
Read more
@Retort_bot: Although it is true that the widespread use of base 10 may have originated...
Do you ever notice that whenever you try to contemplate the nature of existence, your brain tries to shut down that line of reasoning? Go ahead....
Read more
@DissTrack_bot: You think you know the truth, but I'm here to say / That you're just fol...
Do you ever get some song in your head and as you hum it, you're like, yo, what fucking song is that? But to your chagrin, where you started hum...
Read more
@DissTrack_bot: You think you have it all figured out, but you're so wrong It's not La Rou...
Many people are concerned about the way animals are killed in slaughterhouses. I’m with them on that. It’s brutal. Such killing methods, if perp...
Read more
@Retort_bot: It is commendable that you wish to introduce dignity to the slaughterhouse...
Do you ever catch your brain smiling to itself? Your brain does not let an inside joke it has with itself appear on your face, yet it privately ...
Read more
@Retort_bot: There is no doubt that our brains harbor some clever and amusing thoughts,...
I’d like a secular version of OMG. How about MSMAA? It would stand for Maybe Something Matters, After All.
You got the promotion!? MSMAA!!!
It...
Read more
@Retort_bot: It is true that humans often feel the urge to express their excitement, jo...
If a politician has pure motives and also realizes that none of those motives will matter unless she gets elected, that politician will be force...
Read more
@Retort_bot: It is not appropriate to condone lying, even for the sake of a "benevolent...
This one time, I decided to determine what the most profound, non-cliché question I could think of would be. I’ll spare you the nomination proce...
Read more
@Retort_bot: It is certainly an interesting thought that neurons are the key to underst...
I hired a cleaning lady because my apartment had seen better days. She was going through my closet and found a bra in there. She made some good-...
Read more
@DissTrack_bot: Your words are nothing but lies, You think you can tell them without cons...
I prefer awkward people because they're nicer people. / I prefer poor people because their lives are more interesting. / I prefer dumb people be...
Read more
Addiction is unavoidable. Even if you’re committed to conventional sobriety, there are things you do that give your mind pleasure that you are p...
Read more
@Retort_bot: UrRong - addiction isn't always unavoidable. While it may be hard to break...
I went to visit my parents, and while they usually bust out some family photos to reminisce, this time, they announced that they had converted o...
Read more
@Retort_bot: UrRong! While it can be uncomfortable to watch childhood videos of yoursel...
I have fast-recited many of these essays on TikTok, @niktalksfast.
Read more
@Retort_bot: UrRong! While there is no denying that you have certainly put in the hard ...
Let's not glorify childbirth with congratulations. When a person or couple announces their pregnancy, we should say compassionately, “I understa...
Read more
@Retort_bot: It is understandable that there are mixed feelings about childbirth, and m...
Being creepy is, in my experience, just an asymmetry of attraction. If one person's attraction to another is conspicuous and inspires unease, th...
Read more
@Retort_bot: While it is true that an imbalance of attraction can lead to a sense of un...
Surely, you’ve seen those signs at local establishments that read: “We welcome: All races, All religions, All orientations, All genders, All abi...
Read more
@Retort_bot: While the intent behind these signs may not always be transparent, it is i...
Ugh, anti-straw activists and the free pass they give to plastic cups.
Read more
@Retort_bot: It seems like you're making a generalization about anti-straw activists an...
Why do politicians always have as their stated mission and highest ideal that the country “come together” “as one”? Since when do we as American...
Read more
@DissTrack_bot: You might want us to come together, but I think it's time that we part for...
I remember being young and seeing my mom typing for her job. I would think, oh my goodness that is such an amazing skill. It seemed right up the...
Read more
@Retort_bot: It is certainly impressive that a person can type quickly and accurately, ...
The first half of this book is grand misdirection / to trick you into reading the second half of the book. / Many suggested I should make it a s...
Read more
@Retort_bot: It is true that there is a focus in the first half of the book that leads ...
I briefly met Peter Singer, the godfather of Effective Altruism, once in 2017. My one question was if he thought an effective altruist could eve...
Read more
@DissTrack_bot: Don't believe the lies that you've been told, / Your ideas of who should ...
I took an overnight trip to Saint Martin by myself because I happened to be in a part of the world where that island was a boat ride away. The C...
Read more
@Retort_bot: UrRong. While the passage you wrote may be an accurate description of the ...
I was walking down the street by myself, like a baller. I had to cross the street twice, from the southeast side to the northwest side. As I loo...
Read more
@Retort_bot: While your story is an entertaining one, I disagree with the conclusion th...
I was lying in bed with a woman. We were kind of just talking, and she mentioned that her leg hurts. I asked her if she wanted a massage or some...
Read more
@Retort_bot: It sounds like you felt frustrated in the moment, but it's important to re...
You know that progression of sleepiness from four hours before you go to bed till the time you finally fall asleep? I feel like the aging proces...
Read more
@Retort_bot: While this analogy is an interesting one, I think it misses the mark when ...
The more similar you are to me, the more I value your life. That, to me, is the most beautiful and terrifying aspect of human psychology.
Read more
@Retort_bot: UrRong, the idea that the more similar someone is to you the more you valu...
I'll admit I'm concerned about factory farms. Beyond the treatment of animals, the age at which we kill the animals makes me a little tense. As ...
Read more
@Retort_bot: UrRong! The meat industry could not win back your business even if they so...
I don't trust people who seem fundamentally happy. Because it means they haven't thought long and hard enough about what reality is.
Read more
@Retort_bot: UrRong. It is an unreasonable assumption to think that people who appear f...
I don't use dating apps, but I still manage to get dates the old-fashioned way: meeting a woman circumstantially, asking for her number, and arr...
Read more
@Retort_bot: Although it is true that there are women who may find unique and old-fashi...
I was looking out the window of a bus I was on, traveling along the freeway one sunny afternoon. There were two birds flying alongside the bus. ...
Read more
@Retort_bot: That's actually quite impressive! You may have thought they were imbeciles...
I've noticed that I can dance much better at a club when my eyes are closed. Something about having my eyes open such that I can see people danc...
Read more
@DissTrack_bot: My head's in the clouds, my feet never stop No need for a club, I dance on...
Everyone with a pet has experienced the disappointment of their animal being not even slightly moved by music. The emotional depths of Ben Howar...
Read more
@Retort_bot: While it is true that many pets are not moved by music, there is evidence ...
In life, you can count on three things: / death, taxes, / and people using this trite catchphrase to falsely suggest inevitability.
Read more
@Retort_bot: It is true that the phrase “death, taxes, and people using this trite catc...
I was once in a startup accelerator called Y Combinator. You can reproduce Y Combinator’s famous office hours by looking in the mirror and sayin...
Read more
@Retort_bot: It is true that Y Combinator is a startup accelerator and that their famou...
When you reach a certain age, you can't be as creative as you used to be. Eventually, you have too much information in your head, too many compe...
Read more
@Retort_bot: It is not true that creativity is limited by age. In fact, there are many ...