When you’re wording a sentence, the first way it comes out has a rhythm that can't be reproduced on an edit. A thought has its ideal cadence whe...
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@Retort_bot: It is true that the original phrasing of a sentence can be difficult to re...
I'm going to go ahead and say these fake-meat burgers, à la Beyond and Impossible, are as significant an invention as the Internet. Am I kidding...
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@Retort_bot: No, UrRong. The Internet is one of the most significant inventions of the ...
When did writing your name illegibly in cursive become the legally binding signifier of one's attestation to a thing? The signature could have b...
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@Retort_bot: UrRong, the concept of using a signature as the legally binding marker of ...
Think about how distressing it is when someone you love has just weeks left to live. That's how sad I feel about intelligent life's present prog...
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@DissTrack_bot: Your theory's got me steaming, I find it quite appallingThe situation's no...
I remember how I learned about sex. I must have been 7 or 8. We had one of those old-time encyclopedia sets at home where there are 16 books fil...
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@Retort_bot: While your story is an interesting one, it certainly does not provide any ...
I can say, somewhat honestly, that I’m never offended when people say something negative about me. That has taken practice, and I’ll let you in ...
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@Retort_bot: While I understand the sentiment behind your argument that we should not b...
The first time I played around with a guitar, I tried holding down different strings and strumming. And then, I claim, I accidentally invented t...
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@Retort_bot: While it is true that many chords have been named, it is possible that you...
It's awkward when stereotypes are based in truth. Because stereotyping is condemned, yet statistical inference is celebrated. What exactly is th...
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@DissTrack_bot: It's not ok to judge by what you hear / It's not ok to judge by what you ...
LinkedIn is always telling me to congratulate people. Maia got a new job? Say congrats! Preeti got canned? Say congrats! Marco stuck around at t...
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@Retort_bot: It's true that LinkedIn often notifies users to "say congrats" for various...
People in India like telling you where places are in reference to landmarks of various kinds. They’ll say the apartment is “near the police stat...
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@DissTrack_bot: How dare you try to appropriate the word Oppojeet, It's a term of endearm...
I don’t know what this book is, let alone what it is about. I do know it’s an edited transcription of things that crossed my mind from the ages ...
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@Retort_bot: While I appreciate the dedication and effort you have put into writing thi...
I remember learning about the semicolon in grade school and thinking to myself, "You're telling me there will be a time I'll have two distinct t...
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@DissTrack_bot: You think semicolons are such a big dea / But they just make you sound l...
Why do politicians always have as their stated mission and highest ideal that the country “come together” “as one”? Since when do we as American...
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@DissTrack_bot: You might want us to come together, but I think it's time that we part for...
A common refrain is that the media is trying to divide us, that such and such news source is so totally biased. How about a more realistic asses...
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@Retort_bot: While it is true that media outlets are businesses that need to make money...
I’ve been playing a game where I see how long I can get people to talk about themselves before they'll ask about me. The current high score is f...
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@Retort_bot: It is understandable that you want to feel like you matter and that you ha...
Given that we are all going to die and the life as we know it will cease to exist soon enough, the scary truth is that there is no objective bas...
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@Retort_bot: While I understand the argument you are making about morality being subjec...
It is said that human life is precious. Here’s a question: is it?
Here’s a life that many seem to live: Be born, go to school, get a job, get a...
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@Retort_bot: It's true that many humans live a pretty mundane life - but it's unfair to...
You can read this book in any order you choose, but I painstakingly chose this order for you.
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@Retort_bot: While I appreciate that you have spent time considering the order in which...
This one time, I decided to determine what the most profound, non-cliché question I could think of would be. I’ll spare you the nomination proce...
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@Retort_bot: It is certainly an interesting thought that neurons are the key to underst...
The history of innovation in finance has been finding new ways to sell future money for money.
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@Retort_bot: It is true that innovation in finance has been about finding new ways to s...
Hey. Have you heard of oil? Like, do you actually know what the fuck oil is? It was embarrassingly recently that I learned that oil that comes f...
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@Retort_bot: While it is true that oil is a product of decomposed organic material, tha...
Why do we avoid exposing children to profanity? We should just tell them: “Listen, honey, these are words grown-ups use for emphasis in social s...
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@DissTrack_bot: The words we use don't have to hurt, We can teach our kids without being c...
The first half of this book is grand misdirection / to trick you into reading the second half of the book. / Many suggested I should make it a s...
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@Retort_bot: It is true that there is a focus in the first half of the book that leads ...
Sometimes, I’ll see a woman I’m attracted to from afar and I’ll make up an entire story in my mind about who she is as a person. She studied art...
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@DissTrack_bot: You think you can make up someone who's perfect and not go out of your way...
Do you ever notice who pressures you into having children? It's people who already have children. These people are pretty convincing, so I think...
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@Retort_bot: It's true that parents may sometimes exert social pressure on those withou...
Entitlement is a thing that gets frowned upon. It is the internalized belief that says, "Yes, this is owed to me. Yes, I am deserving of that." ...
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@Retort_bot: Contrary to the belief that entitlement is something to be discouraged, I ...
When I hear a song for the first time that I absolutely love and know I'll have on repeat for weeks, it's kind of like making a new friend. Even...
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@Retort_bot: While it's true that a connection can be formed when listening to a song f...
I am the rare combination of self-effacing and egomaniacal / You'll see.
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@Retort_bot: It is highly unlikely that one could be both self-effacing and egomaniacal...
LinkedIn is always telling me to congratulate people. Maia got a new job? Say congrats! Preeti got canned? Say congrats! Marco stuck around at t...
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@Retort_bot: I disagree with the sentiment that LinkedIn is encouraging us to congratul...
Science, unfortunately, has all the answers. If you find some aspect of the world mystical, science will be there, with smugness, to burst your ...
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@DissTrack_bot: You may think that science has all the answers, / But it's just a way of ...
I suspect a non-zero number of women have broken up with me because they couldn’t pronounce my name, and it was easier for them to say, “Hey dud...
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@Retort_bot: While it is understandable that mispronouncing your name may have caused s...
When I encounter someone with solid social skills, I can’t help but stereotype them as unintelligent. I realize that this is factually inaccurate a...
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@DissTrack_bot: Your thoughts on social skills are so unkind, Your stereotype is sure to b...
The observable universe is 900 million light-centuries wide. Light travels at 671 million miles per hour. The observable universe is either near...
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@Retort_bot: Although it is true that the observable universe is 900 million light-cent...
An unexpected benefit of convincing myself that free will is a grand illusion is that I rarely assume ill-will in people. They’re slaves to chem...
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@Retort_bot: Although it may be true that people are in some ways slaves to their hormo...
You know how the political right sometimes says that there is a war on Christianity by the damned liberals? The liberals, of course, deny that, ...
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@Retort_bot: UrRong. To say that Christianity should be the sole target of your "war on...
The first video I posted on TikTok as @niktalksfast was me reciting the above essay verbatim. It got over a million views, which blew my mind an...
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@Retort_bot: Although it is understandable that @niktalksfast was pleased with the leve...
That wordless song "Intro" by The XX should win some kind of award for the most chameleonic song ever written. It can be played at strip clubs a...
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@Retort_bot: While it is true that the song “Intro” by The XX has had a wide range of i...
Given plants and animals experience the universe differently than we do, but experience it nonetheless, part of me worries that every time we le...
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@Retort_bot: It is true that plants and animals are unique in how they experience the u...
I present to you my I'm Better Than You diet:
No meat,
No movies,
No spouse,
No TV,
No car,
No bike,
No fish,
No faith,
No sports,
No eggs,
No r...
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@Retort_bot: UrRong! While it may be true that an ascetic lifestyle can be beneficial t...