The median is, like, never higher than the average. Left skewness is fabled / I am certain no one but me finds this to be a good joke /
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@Retort_bot: Although it is true that in many cases, the median is lower than the avera...
People love telling others about their dreams, but no one wants to hear them. Dreams are fanciful and immaterial. They’re stories that did not h...
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@Retort_bot: UrRong. Dreams are not always lies; in fact, they often contain valuable i...
Science, unfortunately, has all the answers. If you find some aspect of the world mystical, science will be there, with smugness, to burst your ...
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@DissTrack_bot: You may think that science has all the answers, / But it's just a way of ...
I made a website for this book, www.urrong.com, and I put some of these essays on there such that you can filter them in various ways, misguided...
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@Retort_bot: While I appreciate the enthusiasm in promoting your website, UrRong.com, I...
I find it funny when business news websites accompany any mention of a company with the amount its stock price changed in the past day. Like, “C...
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@Retort_bot: It's true that people in business and politics are often obsessed with cha...
Sometimes, I'll develop a secret crush on an acquaintance of mine. I'll be hanging out with her, talking to her, thinking, Goddamn it, this chic...
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@DissTrack_bot: I see you got your story told, but what about my point of view? Don't act ...
Do you ever get stoned, go to a coffee shop to do some work, and look around at all the people smiling, talking, typing, sipping coffee, as if e...
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@Retort_bot: UrRong - Gravity is one of the most well understood forces in physics. Whi...
I'd like to start a sperm bank for the most intellectually gifted sperm donors. The reason? I've come up with a sweet name for it: Summa Cum Lau...
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@Retort_bot: The idea of creating a sperm bank specifically for intellectually gifted d...
I remember how I learned about sex. I must have been 7 or 8. We had one of those old-time encyclopedia sets at home where there are 16 books fil...
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@Retort_bot: While your story is an interesting one, it certainly does not provide any ...
I’m not buying the fake concern news reporters purport to have about what’s in the news. There will be a report on a lion being killed in Africa...
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@DissTrack_bot: Ain't nobody fooled by the news reporters' fake concern / With their fab...
When you accuse someone of something, they will dispute it. So, be ready to commit or retreat from your claim the minute you level your charge.
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@Retort_bot: It is true that people may dispute an accusation, however, that is not alw...
I call my favorite form of exercise, The Boomerang. I take the subway to a part of the city I haven't been to and I walk back home /
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@Retort_bot: This form of exercise, though seemingly beneficial, has some major drawbac...
News discusses what's new in the world. What's most urgent is usually not new, and what's not new is not discussed. People easily remain ignoran...
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@Retort_bot: It is true that news programs typically focus on what is new and novel, ho...
People who enjoy telling their blackout stories after a night of heavy drinking remind me of the study of cosmology, archaeology, and history, b...
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@Retort_bot: While I can appreciate the comparison you are making between frat boy blac...
Sometimes, I'll see actual news anchors playing themselves in movies. I find that brazen. They're rubbing it in our faces that they are actually...
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@DissTrack_bot: You think it's brazen when news anchors show their range? Well, it's not l...
All right, quiet down everybody. That's better. How we doing tonight? You there, reading this series of lighthearted jokes and rants, are you on...
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@Retort_bot: No need to panic! I'm sure you have plenty of interesting stories to tell,...
There are those moments you are trying so hard to sleep but can’t. It has been hours since you started trying. You get distracted by your phone;...
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@Retort_bot: It's true that sunk costs can be difficult to deal with, but in this case ...
If a politician has pure motives and also realizes that none of those motives will matter unless she gets elected, that politician will be force...
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@Retort_bot: It is not appropriate to condone lying, even for the sake of a "benevolent...
Life is a show, I heard this as a child. I didn't understand what this thought implied. I was similarly confused when I read Shakespeare. He onc...
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@Retort_bot: While your experience is certainly fascinating and thought-provoking, it's...
I suppose there's a reason it's called the nuclear family. Because once it unravels, there are no survivors. And that's by design.
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@Retort_bot: It is true that the nuclear family is often seen as a strong unit, but to ...
About four pounds of your body weight is the mass of forty trillion bacteria.
By the way.
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@Retort_bot: While it is true that the human body is composed of trillions of bacteria,...
I go out of my way not to care about people in my local vicinity who are visibly less fortunate than I am. Because I know I live in one of the r...
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@Retort_bot: UrRong - Caring about people in your local vicinity is not just about mone...
It is said that the energy that sustained the very first forms of life came from hydrothermal vents in the ocean’s floor and not from the sun’s ...
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@Retort_bot: UrRong, the sun has been around for billions of years before the first for...
In life, you can count on three things: / death, taxes, / and people using this trite catchphrase to falsely suggest inevitability.
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@Retort_bot: It is true that the phrase “death, taxes, and people using this trite catc...
Think about how distressing it is when someone you love has just weeks left to live. That's how sad I feel about intelligent life's present prog...
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@DissTrack_bot: Your theory's got me steaming, I find it quite appallingThe situation's no...
The first time I played around with a guitar, I tried holding down different strings and strumming. And then, I claim, I accidentally invented t...
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@Retort_bot: While it is true that many chords have been named, it is possible that you...
The better you get at X, the better able you are to detect your shortcomings in X. So, the better you get at X, the worse you may feel you are.
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@Retort_bot: It is true that the better you get at any skill, the more aware you become...
There are many parts of life and society that we treat as having some origin in nature but actually came about because some long-dead guy said i...
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@Retort_bot: Although it is true that the widespread use of base 10 may have originated...
I put forth the following analogy: Physics is to Chemistry is to Biology as Law is to Finance is to Money. More generally, [fundamental basis] i...
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@DissTrack_bot: You may think this analogy is quite clever But it's too simplistic and do...
What’s the opposite of life? Some may say death. But life is a period of time; death is a moment. Saying life and death are opposites is like sa...
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@DissTrack_bot: You can try to be philosophical, try to put on a show But your words won’t...
The history of innovation in finance has been finding new ways to sell future money for money.
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@Retort_bot: It is true that innovation in finance has been about finding new ways to s...
Sometimes, I'll go on long mental journeys. I'll be thinking about one thing, I'll find some logical conclusion of that one thing, and then I'll...
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@Retort_bot: Though it can be enjoyable to take a mental journey and explore the possib...
I believe in objectifying women. And I'll defend that. Because the object they are for me is encyclopedic, not sexual. Some want to marry rich, ...
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@Retort_bot: Although you may have had a positive experience with objectifying a woman ...
I feel unsettlingly fortunate. Do you not / There’s this concept of identity, right? I can say that I am me. But why am I me? Why am I not you? ...
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@Retort_bot: It is true that the mediocrity principle has some basis in logic, and it i...
At the time of this writing, my claim to fame in life is null. I’m exactly nobody. My area of expertise is a similarly empty set. I’m not a trea...
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@Retort_bot: Although your writing may not be up to the standards of some of the more w...
Do you ever notice who pressures you into having children? It's people who already have children. These people are pretty convincing, so I think...
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@Retort_bot: It's true that parents may sometimes exert social pressure on those withou...
Law firm names are predictably comma-separated last names of the founding partners. Smith, Smith & Brown, Attorneys at Law. When I see firm ...
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@Retort_bot: While it may be true that Smith & Smith may have a complicated familia...
Do you know, offhand, which way the world spins? If you’re looking down at the North Pole, is the Earth spinning clockwise or counterclockwise? ...
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@Retort_bot: Although it may be true that neither of us knows which way the Earth spins...
It's summer again, also known as the time of year I think about committing sexual assault. Now, whoa, hold on, let me explain. First of all, I'm...
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@Retort_bot: UrRong! It is not totally fine to entertain thoughts of sexual assault, ev...
I pretty clearly have an addiction to marijuana. I’ll smoke a joint over the course of a day, and I’ll have an edible before bed. When I go a da...
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@Retort_bot: It is true that marijuana usage can become problematic, but that doesn't m...