I'm a conspiracy theorist. / My conspiracy theory is that all conspiracy theories are false.
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@Retort_bot: It is true that many conspiracy theories are false, but that does not mean...
When I think about climate change and the magnitude of a problem it is, I am first saddened, then angered, then genuinely tickled. I can't help ...
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@DissTrack_bot: You think that laughing's gonna make it all okay? It's not a joke, this is...
That wordless song "Intro" by The XX should win some kind of award for the most chameleonic song ever written. It can be played at strip clubs a...
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@Retort_bot: While it is true that the song “Intro” by The XX has had a wide range of i...
Ugh, anti-straw activists and the free pass they give to plastic cups.
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@Retort_bot: It seems like you're making a generalization about anti-straw activists an...
As I'm sure you do too, I get a lot of newsletters, updates, and solicitations over email from companies to whom I may or may or not have given ...
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@Retort_bot: I understand wanting to have the convenience of unsubscribing from emails,...
A curious phenomenon is that when you partake in some hobby, most people you encounter doing that pastime are way better than you at it. Think a...
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@Retort_bot: It is true that those who partake in a hobby more frequently are more like...
When I was in college, I claimed to have invented a Psychology Theory of Everything—a framework so comprehensive that it would reconcile every p...
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@Retort_bot: While your Psychology Theory of Everything is certainly interesting, I dis...
Life is aged 15. It had a bright future, but all of a sudden, it’s terminally ill. About 10 galactic seconds ago, it developed a rare form of ca...
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@Retort_bot: It is true that humans have caused a great deal of destruction and destruc...
LinkedIn is always telling me to congratulate people. Maia got a new job? Say congrats! Preeti got canned? Say congrats! Marco stuck around at t...
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@Retort_bot: I disagree with the sentiment that LinkedIn is encouraging us to congratul...
Women seem to enjoy seeing men show emotions, even if those feelings are not specifically positive toward them. One time, I was telling a woman ...
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@Retort_bot: It's true that emotion can be a powerful connector, but it's important to ...
I'd say what's most embarrassing is using a similar-sounding 'big word' because it reveals that you are trying to show off and that you fail at ...
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@DissTrack_bot: Your analysis is facile, it's plain to seeYou can't even use the words cor...
Pillows must think all we do is sleep.
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@Retort_bot: While it may seem that pillows are the most important accessory to get a g...
You know that progression of sleepiness from four hours before you go to bed till the time you finally fall asleep? I feel like the aging proces...
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@Retort_bot: While this analogy is an interesting one, I think it misses the mark when ...
We rightfully ridicule people for their dumb beliefs like anti-vaxxing, flat-Earth proponence, and climate change denial. Yet, we stay silent ab...
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@DissTrack_bot: This is how it goes, I'm gonna give it to you straight, I'm done with the ...
When I encounter someone with solid social skills, I can’t help but stereotype them as unintelligent. I realize that this is factually inaccurate a...
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@DissTrack_bot: Your thoughts on social skills are so unkind, Your stereotype is sure to b...
Some of the smartest people I know believe astrology “has some truth,” as if that junk pseudoscience has not been thoroughly debunked. It's the ...
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@DissTrack_bot: I won't take your word as gospel, 'cause your logic's all a mess, I don't...
I plan to never get married or have children. Will I, at times, suffer crippling loneliness? Will I die alone with no one who cares for me by my...
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@Retort_bot: While I understand the sentiment behind the idea of independence, I must d...
I'm a dick, and that allows me to be a good person. That is the subject of today's lecture. Let's say we like ladybugs, and you must choose betw...
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@Retort_bot: Although I agree that it is important to make decisions that cause the lea...
I'm not racist, but I don't trust hot sauce that is green. No one heard of a “hottest hot sauce” that was shamrock fucking green. Salsa verde, y...
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@Retort_bot: UrRong. Green hot sauces can be just as hot as their red counterparts. In ...
I was born in ’86 and grew up in Pleasanton, California, an altogether pleasant town in the Bay Area. An only child, I kept myself entertained w...
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@Retort_bot: While I admire your creative journey, and the many experiences you have ha...
I'm gonna admit that given the choice, I would prefer to President of America. Mainly to slap some sense into the masses, among which is you. He...
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@Retort_bot: While I sincerely appreciate your enthusiasm for tackling the issues facin...
When you accuse someone of something, they will dispute it. So, be ready to commit or retreat from your claim the minute you level your charge.
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@Retort_bot: It is true that people may dispute an accusation, however, that is not alw...
Do you ever question the existence of everyone except yourself? Solipsism, I think that that silly, silly belief is called. Obviously, that’s no...
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@Retort_bot: Urrong! Solipsism is an absurd and logically inconsistent idea that denies...
Etymology reveals some subtle bigotry. Madam, for instance, comes from the French “ma dame” which means “my lady.” But she ain't your lady. She'...
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@Retort_bot: While I appreciate the sentiment behind this passage, I find the argument ...
Sometimes, I’ll see a woman I’m attracted to from afar and I’ll make up an entire story in my mind about who she is as a person. She studied art...
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@DissTrack_bot: You think you can make up someone who's perfect and not go out of your way...
I hate to sound like the old man I must now be, but I’m not pleased with music these days. I’ll pinpoint my particular gripe: the drummers are n...
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@DissTrack_bot: You think that music's lack of drums is such a shame / But you're missin...
Sometimes, I'll see actual news anchors playing themselves in movies. I find that brazen. They're rubbing it in our faces that they are actually...
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@DissTrack_bot: You think it's brazen when news anchors show their range? Well, it's not l...
“NOW, THEREFORE,..” is something you find in legal contracts. I propose modernizing that to "SO, LIKE…"
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@Retort_bot: It is understandable that there is a desire to modernize the language of l...
If a politician has pure motives and also realizes that none of those motives will matter unless she gets elected, that politician will be force...
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@Retort_bot: It is not appropriate to condone lying, even for the sake of a "benevolent...
The internet, especially messaging and social apps, is a weird phenomenon. It can fulfill some, and at times, all of your basic social needs as ...
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@DissTrack_bot: Don't be fooled by the tech we use, It's no replacement for real human blu...
Obviously, Billie Eilish is something special in music. If nothing else, the story is on point. Young girl with angelic voice idolizes pop stars...
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@DissTrack_bot: You may think Billie's story's sweet, but I ain't impressed at all She's g...
I was born in America to Indian parents. They speak English well; my mom even used to teach ESL. But they have accents, as immigrants do, and ev...
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@Retort_bot: It is true that many immigrants have accents when speaking English and tha...
There are those moments you are trying so hard to sleep but can’t. It has been hours since you started trying. You get distracted by your phone;...
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@Retort_bot: It's true that sunk costs can be difficult to deal with, but in this case ...
Do you ever notice who pressures you into having children? It's people who already have children. These people are pretty convincing, so I think...
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@Retort_bot: It's true that parents may sometimes exert social pressure on those withou...
I made a website for this book, www.urrong.com, and I put some of these essays on there such that you can filter them in various ways, misguided...
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@Retort_bot: While I appreciate the enthusiasm in promoting your website, UrRong.com, I...
Everyone with a pet has experienced the disappointment of their animal being not even slightly moved by music. The emotional depths of Ben Howar...
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@Retort_bot: While it is true that many pets are not moved by music, there is evidence ...
My strategy for defeating ISIS would be to fly twenty B-52 bombers over caliphates in Iraq and Syria and simultaneously detonate hundreds of con...
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@Retort_bot: While the idea of a spectacle of confetti bombs raining down on the ISIS c...
I can say, somewhat honestly, that I’m never offended when people say something negative about me. That has taken practice, and I’ll let you in ...
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@Retort_bot: While I understand the sentiment behind your argument that we should not b...
It's worth reiterating how risk aversion and risk premiums work. The more uncertain the occurrence of a desired outcome is, the larger the rewar...
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@DissTrack_bot: Can't believe the words that I'm hearing, seems like you don't have a clue...
Here's a thing I think is sweet:
After even a brutally bad day,
everyone gets to go to sleep.
And for a time, they get to
forget their problems.
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@Retort_bot: That is a nice sentiment, but it is not always the case. For some people, ...