Forewords are dumb. Just start the damned book.
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@Retort_bot: Forewords serve a valuable purpose in any book! They can introduce the rea...
I play drums, and I like to think that helps me with my writing. / Words have stresses. So, sentences impose rhythms. And paragraphs leave you f...
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Here’s what people mean when they advocate for civil rights: "Hey guys, people like my friends and me should be able to do whatever we want!!" V...
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@Retort_bot: While advocating for civil rights is an admirable cause, the sentiment exp...
I've had numerous women propose marriage to me. Like, not super seriously, but more like a joking, gosh, why don't we just get married, Nikhil? ...
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@DissTrack_bot: I can't believe what you're claiming, you must be fooling Your braggadoc...
If a politician has pure motives and also realizes that none of those motives will matter unless she gets elected, that politician will be force...
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@Retort_bot: It is not appropriate to condone lying, even for the sake of a "benevolent...
You know how each side of the political extreme has such wildly caricatured assumptions about the other side? Conservatives are xenophobic, clim...
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@Retort_bot: It's true that some individuals on both sides of the political spectrum ma...
I had finally convinced a woman I had been going on dates with to be my girlfriend. We decided to meet up on Saturday morning for our very first...
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@Retort_bot: Although it is understandable that the Dark At Night passage paints a sad ...
I don't use dating apps, but I still manage to get dates the old-fashioned way: meeting a woman circumstantially, asking for her number, and arr...
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@Retort_bot: Although it is true that there are women who may find unique and old-fashi...
There was yet another mass shooting reported today, and I noticed that I lacked an emotional response. There are so many of them these days that...
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@Retort_bot: It is important to acknowledge the way that we have become desensitized to...
I am the rare combination of self-effacing and egomaniacal / You'll see.
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@Retort_bot: It is highly unlikely that one could be both self-effacing and egomaniacal...
When you go see a dance troupe perform, there’s always one dancer who is obviously way better than the rest. Isolated movements. Impeccable timi...
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@Retort_bot: It can be argued that the dancer who stands out from the rest of the troup...
I suspect a non-zero number of women have broken up with me because they couldn’t pronounce my name, and it was easier for them to say, “Hey dud...
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@Retort_bot: While it is understandable that mispronouncing your name may have caused s...
When I think about climate change and the magnitude of a problem it is, I am first saddened, then angered, then genuinely tickled. I can't help ...
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@DissTrack_bot: You think that laughing's gonna make it all okay? It's not a joke, this is...
I call my favorite form of exercise, The Boomerang. I take the subway to a part of the city I haven't been to and I walk back home /
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@Retort_bot: This form of exercise, though seemingly beneficial, has some major drawbac...
Sometimes, I'll go on long mental journeys. I'll be thinking about one thing, I'll find some logical conclusion of that one thing, and then I'll...
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@Retort_bot: Though it can be enjoyable to take a mental journey and explore the possib...
One other way I would love to see this book used is as a party game. One person opens a page at random and reads the passage on it, and everyone...
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@Retort_bot: While charades may not be the most thrilling game, there are a few drawbac...
If you'll believe it, my parents met in the late 1970s… online. Well, as close to online as you could get back then. They met through the person...
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@Retort_bot: It is true that many people did find love through the personal ads section...
I underwent a spiraling existential crisis when I realized that when a tree falls in a forest and there is no one around, it might not make a so...
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@Retort_bot: UrRong! Although your thought-provoking musings do lead to interesting que...
The forging of romantic relationships / reminds me of how improv performers act. / You're constantly guessing what your partner means / by what ...
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@DissTrack_bot: I'm done with this game, it's time to move on, You can't just come in and ...
Shit, I spent an embarrassingly large amount of time on this.
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@Retort_bot: When it comes to the amount of time spent on a task, efficiency is key. Sp...
It's awkward when stereotypes are based in truth. Because stereotyping is condemned, yet statistical inference is celebrated. What exactly is th...
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@DissTrack_bot: It's not ok to judge by what you hear / It's not ok to judge by what you ...
There’s a joke that goes, “How can you tell if someone is vegan? Well, they already told you!” That joke is a fair criticism of us vegans. We in...
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@Retort_bot: It's true that some vegans can be overly vocal about their dietary choices...
LinkedIn is always telling me to congratulate people. Maia got a new job? Say congrats! Preeti got canned? Say congrats! Marco stuck around at t...
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@Retort_bot: I disagree with the sentiment that LinkedIn is encouraging us to congratul...
The compulsion with which I check the news is alarming, even to me. If I don’t kick this habit, I might accidentally spend a good chunk of my li...
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@DissTrack_bot: I'm not gonna waste my life on news addiction, This habit's not worth my t...
You know those customer support lines that start with, “Please listen carefully, as our options have changed”? What the fuck do they think we do...
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@Retort_bot: While I can understand your frustration with customer support lines, it's ...
It is said that human life is precious. Here’s a question: is it?
Here’s a life that many seem to live: Be born, go to school, get a job, get a...
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@Retort_bot: It's true that many humans live a pretty mundane life - but it's unfair to...
It's not clear to me what it means to have an opinion about how something looks. Let's say someone asks me, “How do you like my haircut?” What d...
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@Retort_bot: It's true that your opinion on someone else's physical appearance might no...
The internet, especially messaging and social apps, is a weird phenomenon. It can fulfill some, and at times, all of your basic social needs as ...
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@DissTrack_bot: Don't be fooled by the tech we use, It's no replacement for real human blu...
Sometimes, I feel like splitting infinitives. To defiantly break rules is to undeniably prove that rules need not apply to you.
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@Retort_bot: In the English language, there are certain rules of grammar which, when br...
Have you ever tried writing a fictional story that is at once believable and captivating, both unexpected and relatable? That’s damn near imposs...
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@Retort_bot: It's true that dreams can produce stories that are both captivating and re...
I quite dislike hypothetical questions. I once broke up with a girl I really liked because she asked too many of them. /
“One more, one more!” ...
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@DissTrack_bot: Hypothetical questions are not that bad, Your breakup was just a way to be...
When I’m in public, sometimes I’ll make eye contact with a stranger. They’ll look away, as will I. But then I’ll look back to see if they looked...
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@Retort_bot: It is certainly true that making eye contact with a stranger can be an eff...
I’m pro-choice, not specifically because I support a woman’s right to choose, but because I think the fewer people, the better. Is that a deeply...
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@DissTrack_bot: You think the fewer people, the better? That's pretty messed up, you must ...
Come every election season, everyone, all of a sudden, seems to have a strong opinion about every issue facing the nation. What I think is actua...
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@Retort_bot: While I understand the sentiment that many people may simply pick a side i...
I've noticed that I can dance much better at a club when my eyes are closed. Something about having my eyes open such that I can see people danc...
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@DissTrack_bot: My head's in the clouds, my feet never stop No need for a club, I dance on...
It's pretty insulting to tell someone they were an accident—a pullout method gone wrong; a drunken hook-up followed by a failure to procure Plan...
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@DissTrack_bot: Don't be so quick to judge, your stats are flawed, I'm sure you think you'...
You know those times when you're talking to someone and you know something about them, but only because you've looked them up online? You can't ...
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@Retort_bot: While it may be true that referencing the fact that you know something abo...
Do you ever have a flash of intelligence that surprises even you with its brilliance? What’s usually remarkable about those moments is not how c...
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@DissTrack_bot: I don't need clarity on everything, That's not the point you should be see...
The more “punny” college advertising is, the worse the school. Do they think we haven’t figured out this correlation? Do they not realize their ...
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@Retort_bot: While it is true that some universities with less impressive accreditation...
I struggle to reconcile my hatred of humanity with my aversion to genocide. Damn, I love that opening line. Anyway, after spending some time Goo...
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@Retort_bot: UrRong. While VHEMT's solution may seem like an elegant one, it is not a r...