For a time, I was living in a studio apartment in New York’s East Village. One evening, I was sitting on my couch with my laptop perched atop me...
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@Retort_bot: While it's true that finding creative solutions to open a coconut can be s...
This one time, I decided to determine what the most profound, non-cliché question I could think of would be. I’ll spare you the nomination proce...
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@Retort_bot: It is certainly an interesting thought that neurons are the key to underst...
There was a bomb that went off on W. 23rd St. about forty blocks from where I live. Twenty people were injured, and it was international news. T...
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@Retort_bot: I understand your point that people should be concerned about smaller, eve...
I usually have 80-130 tabs open in my web browser. What if I need to re-reference something? Is the thought / This is my pitch for Hoarders: Goo...
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@Retort_bot: UrRong! Having 80-130 tabs open in a web browser is not a good practice. N...
Dude, what’s with the unrestrained adulation heaped upon veterans? They enrolled in a job voluntarily. That job happens to be risky and comes wi...
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@Retort_bot: UrRong. It is true that veterans volunteered for a job that comes with cer...
It's awkward when stereotypes are based in truth. Because stereotyping is condemned, yet statistical inference is celebrated. What exactly is th...
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@DissTrack_bot: It's not ok to judge by what you hear / It's not ok to judge by what you ...
I believe that the 2013 "Sum Ting Wong" news clip will go down as the most timeless, classic practical joke in human history. We'll laugh about ...
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@Retort_bot: While the 2013 “Sum Ting Wong” news clip is certainly an amusing piece of ...
I think people's cleanliness standards are way too high. It pisses me off when I go to someone's place and they give some pained speech before o...
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@Retort_bot: While it is understandable that you may feel frustrated when someone's hom...
Whenever there is news related to science, astronomy, or really, research of any kind, the headline seems to always follow the format: “[Noun] i...
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@DissTrack_bot: Your words show you don't know a thing, I'm here to refute what you bring,...
Do you know, offhand, which way the world spins? If you’re looking down at the North Pole, is the Earth spinning clockwise or counterclockwise? ...
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@Retort_bot: Although it may be true that neither of us knows which way the Earth spins...
Did you know that it is a very serious federal criminal offense to “advocate for the overthrow of the US government,” punishable by up to 20 yea...
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@Retort_bot: While I understand your passion for wanting to make a change, I must disag...
I arrived at the airport a half-hour before my departure, and the agent refused to give me a boarding pass. Apparently, 45 minutes prior to boar...
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@Retort_bot: While I commend the agent for her optimism, her response to my question wa...
When I have people over, and it becomes appropriate to put on some music, I have a minor mental crisis over whether they'll think my music is co...
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@Retort_bot: It is understandable to feel anxious about what music to play when people ...
Uber drivers seem scared of you. "Is the music okay? How about the temperature? Is your day going satisfactorily? May I offer you this gift of h...
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@Retort_bot: UrRong! While it is true that some Uber drivers may be overly accommodatin...
Do you ever notice who pressures you into having children? It's people who already have children. These people are pretty convincing, so I think...
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@Retort_bot: It's true that parents may sometimes exert social pressure on those withou...
As I get better at playing the drums, I find myself increasingly being embarrassed by my skill level.
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@Retort_bot: It is understandable to feel embarrassed when you are not yet as skilled a...
You know the expression, “friends with benefits?” I think it's funny how jobs are also said to come “with benefits.” I like to imagine myself st...
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@Retort_bot: It is true that many jobs come with benefits, but there is more to it than...
Until embarrassingly recently, I thought cows just naturally produced milk. And I assumed male chickens had some role in egg production. In case...
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@DissTrack_bot: I'm tired of hearing your ignorant speech, It's time to educate and put y...
I took an overnight trip to Saint Martin by myself because I happened to be in a part of the world where that island was a boat ride away. The C...
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@Retort_bot: UrRong. While the passage you wrote may be an accurate description of the ...
Some of the smartest people I know believe astrology “has some truth,” as if that junk pseudoscience has not been thoroughly debunked. It's the ...
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@DissTrack_bot: I won't take your word as gospel, 'cause your logic's all a mess, I don't...
I’m pro-choice, not specifically because I support a woman’s right to choose, but because I think the fewer people, the better. Is that a deeply...
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@DissTrack_bot: You think the fewer people, the better? That's pretty messed up, you must ...
Apathy towards climate change reminds me of apathy toward extreme poverty. It goes something like this: It’s not my fault, it’s unlikely to affe...
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@Retort_bot: It is true that climate change and extreme poverty are both global problem...
The median is, like, never higher than the average. Left skewness is fabled / I am certain no one but me finds this to be a good joke /
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@Retort_bot: Although it is true that in many cases, the median is lower than the avera...
Aaron's parents tried way too hard to make him number one, alphabetically /
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@Retort_bot: I disagree with the statement that Aaron's parents tried too hard to make ...
People in academia use big words when normal words would suffice. For example, they might say the preceding sentence as such / Those who pursue ...
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@Retort_bot: While it is true that certain individuals in academia may rely on overly c...
I see people posting their pronoun preferences, like he, him; she, her, but such pronouns aren’t required linguistically, so let’s ditch ‘em ent...
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@Retort_bot: UrRong. While it is true that pronouns are not necessarily required lingui...
You can read this book in any order you choose, but I painstakingly chose this order for you.
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@Retort_bot: While I appreciate that you have spent time considering the order in which...
One other way I would love to see this book used is as a party game. One person opens a page at random and reads the passage on it, and everyone...
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@Retort_bot: While charades may not be the most thrilling game, there are a few drawbac...
I was at a bar and had two more cocktails after I clearly should have stopped. I left, stopped by a taco truck, and ate the mushroom burrito I b...
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@Retort_bot: Respectfully, I disagree with your conclusion. While it is true that you m...
For a country that reveres the notion of freedom, Americans are sure committed to the institution of marriage.
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@DissTrack_bot: Americans act like marriage is the ultimate prize, But freedom should be t...
I read about a $2 trillion infrastructure bill that passed with bipartisan support and is in the works to be implemented. But infrastructure is ...
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@DissTrack_bot: No matter what they say, this infrastructure's a sham, It's a cover up to ...
I'm surprised to see people post on social media: “Can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with my best friend!” and “Married my best friend tod...
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@Retort_bot: UrRong. While it is true that people’s interests and tastes may change ove...
I remember, as a kid, assuming that the condensation outside a glass of cold water was somehow water seeping through the glass.
w...
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Entitlement is a thing that gets frowned upon. It is the internalized belief that says, "Yes, this is owed to me. Yes, I am deserving of that." ...
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@Retort_bot: Contrary to the belief that entitlement is something to be discouraged, I ...
I suspect a non-zero number of women have broken up with me because they couldn’t pronounce my name, and it was easier for them to say, “Hey dud...
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@Retort_bot: While it is understandable that mispronouncing your name may have caused s...
When you accuse someone of something, they will dispute it. So, be ready to commit or retreat from your claim the minute you level your charge.
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@Retort_bot: It is true that people may dispute an accusation, however, that is not alw...
What’s with women reading so much into how long it has been since a guy has texted back? Not that anyone asked, but I have a deeply sexist theor...
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@DissTrack_bot: You think you got me figured out, your theories just won't hold, But I'm n...
The feeling when you lie on the grass, looking up at the sky and see moving clouds, but feel as if you're on a boat sailing past a stationary tr...
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@DissTrack_bot: Your perspective is so skewed, it's hard to sympathize You're talking 'bo...
Life is a show, I heard this as a child. I didn't understand what this thought implied. I was similarly confused when I read Shakespeare. He onc...
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@Retort_bot: While your experience is certainly fascinating and thought-provoking, it's...
Here's a thing I think is sweet:
After even a brutally bad day,
everyone gets to go to sleep.
And for a time, they get to
forget their problems.
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@Retort_bot: That is a nice sentiment, but it is not always the case. For some people, ...