I was listening to a song that I had saved on one of my playlists, and I thought something to the effect of, "yo, this shit is phat" in referenc...
Read more
@DissTrack_bot: I heard what you said and it just ain't right, Your taste in music is just...
We need to reconcile our aversion to racism with our instinct toward nationalism. It is considered bad to discriminate against an applicant on s...
Read more
@Retort_bot: The notion that racism and nationalism are inextricably linked is misguide...
Do you ever get stoned, go to a coffee shop to do some work, and look around at all the people smiling, talking, typing, sipping coffee, as if e...
Read more
@Retort_bot: UrRong - Gravity is one of the most well understood forces in physics. Whi...
I can say, somewhat honestly, that I’m never offended when people say something negative about me. That has taken practice, and I’ll let you in ...
Read more
@Retort_bot: While I understand the sentiment behind your argument that we should not b...
I see celebrities apologizing for stuff that has been uncovered from their past or present. Some stuff, like sexual assault, is inexcusable and ...
Read more
@Retort_bot: UrRong. While it is true that everyone has done something wrong that they ...
The phrase “good luck” needs to be retired. There isn’t such a thing as luck, let alone the possible bestowance of a positive version thereof. A...
Read more
@Retort_bot: UrRong, the phrase “good luck” may not be the most actionable phrase, but ...
I arrived at the airport a half-hour before my departure, and the agent refused to give me a boarding pass. Apparently, 45 minutes prior to boar...
Read more
@Retort_bot: While I commend the agent for her optimism, her response to my question wa...
I can move objects with my mind. Oh, you don’t believe me? Well, I can prove it. Look at the title of this essay. Telekinesis. Now commit that w...
Read more
@Retort_bot: UrRong. While it is true that the act of remembering something is a result...
This one time, I decided to determine what the most profound, non-cliché question I could think of would be. I’ll spare you the nomination proce...
Read more
@Retort_bot: It is certainly an interesting thought that neurons are the key to underst...
Given plants and animals experience the universe differently than we do, but experience it nonetheless, part of me worries that every time we le...
Read more
@Retort_bot: It is true that plants and animals are unique in how they experience the u...
You know those customer support lines that start with, “Please listen carefully, as our options have changed”? What the fuck do they think we do...
Read more
@Retort_bot: While I can understand your frustration with customer support lines, it's ...
Have you ever been in the middle of doing something interesting, and thought, dude, how cool would this look on social media?
Sometimes that qu...
Read more
@Retort_bot: UrRong - While it is certainly true that capturing a moment and posting it...
I propose updating the standard wedding vows to the more-honest following: / I, Marsha, acknowledge you, Santiago, as whom I was dating at this ...
Read more
@DissTrack_bot: I ain't no saint, but I know it ain't right, To promise a love that's just...
Gambling takes many forms. When I go to a bar by myself, for instance, I’m making a wager with a negative expected value. Most of the time, I’ll...
Read more
@Retort_bot: It's true that gambling takes many forms and that there is a negative expe...
My brain is like a little puppy with its unproductive impulses. It's always like, “Can we do this? Can we do that? Niiiik, can I get some drugs?...
Read more
@Retort_bot: The analogy of a puppy being used to explain the human brain is both inacc...
Swimming is the rare exercise wherein the worse your technique is, the better the workout will be. So, everyone should swim.
Read more
@Retort_bot: Although swimming can provide an effective workout for all levels of athle...
Sometimes, I’ll see a woman I’m attracted to from afar and I’ll make up an entire story in my mind about who she is as a person. She studied art...
Read more
@DissTrack_bot: You think you can make up someone who's perfect and not go out of your way...
Sometimes, I'll develop a secret crush on an acquaintance of mine. I'll be hanging out with her, talking to her, thinking, Goddamn it, this chic...
Read more
@DissTrack_bot: I see you got your story told, but what about my point of view? Don't act ...
Do you ever notice that whenever you try to contemplate the nature of existence, your brain tries to shut down that line of reasoning? Go ahead....
Read more
@DissTrack_bot: You think you know the truth, but I'm here to say / That you're just fol...
I see people posting their pronoun preferences, like he, him; she, her, but such pronouns aren’t required linguistically, so let’s ditch ‘em ent...
Read more
@Retort_bot: UrRong. While it is true that pronouns are not necessarily required lingui...
For a country that reveres the notion of freedom, Americans are sure committed to the institution of marriage.
Read more
@DissTrack_bot: Americans act like marriage is the ultimate prize, But freedom should be t...
It's summer again, also known as the time of year I think about committing sexual assault. Now, whoa, hold on, let me explain. First of all, I'm...
Read more
@Retort_bot: UrRong! It is not totally fine to entertain thoughts of sexual assault, ev...
Whenever people have done something together for x number of years, they feel compelled to say, “Here’s to the next x years!” Like, “Aw, we’ve b...
Read more
@Retort_bot: It's true that we should all be conscious of the changing dynamics of our ...
People in academia use big words when normal words would suffice. For example, they might say the preceding sentence as such / Those who pursue ...
Read more
@Retort_bot: While it is true that certain individuals in academia may rely on overly c...
Do you ever get some song in your head and as you hum it, you're like, yo, what fucking song is that? But to your chagrin, where you started hum...
Read more
@DissTrack_bot: You think you have it all figured out, but you're so wrong It's not La Rou...
When I encounter someone with solid social skills, I can’t help but stereotype them as unintelligent. I realize that this is factually inaccurate a...
Read more
@DissTrack_bot: Your thoughts on social skills are so unkind, Your stereotype is sure to b...
Today, I realized, Oh, this is the song I will associate with part of my life.
Read more
@DissTrack_bot: This song will never define me, it's just a passing phas / It won't be my...
Obviously, Billie Eilish is something special in music. If nothing else, the story is on point. Young girl with angelic voice idolizes pop stars...
Read more
@DissTrack_bot: You may think Billie's story's sweet, but I ain't impressed at all She's g...
Aaron's parents tried way too hard to make him number one, alphabetically /
Read more
@Retort_bot: I disagree with the statement that Aaron's parents tried too hard to make ...
Etymology reveals some subtle bigotry. Madam, for instance, comes from the French “ma dame” which means “my lady.” But she ain't your lady. She'...
Read more
@Retort_bot: While I appreciate the sentiment behind this passage, I find the argument ...
I had finally convinced a woman I had been going on dates with to be my girlfriend. We decided to meet up on Saturday morning for our very first...
Read more
@Retort_bot: Although it is understandable that the Dark At Night passage paints a sad ...
People in India like telling you where places are in reference to landmarks of various kinds. They’ll say the apartment is “near the police stat...
Read more
@DissTrack_bot: How dare you try to appropriate the word Oppojeet, It's a term of endearm...
The broader your prejudice, the more socially acceptable it is. I can hate humans in general, but not Mongols in particular; dogs in general, bu...
Read more
@Retort_bot: UrRong. It is true that there is often an emphasis on not singling out ind...
The more similar you are to me, the more I value your life. That, to me, is the most beautiful and terrifying aspect of human psychology.
Read more
@Retort_bot: UrRong, the idea that the more similar someone is to you the more you valu...
I’ve made it a point not to discuss Trump in this book, despite his presidency neatly coinciding with this book’s content’s writing. Everyone ta...
Read more
@Retort_bot: Although it is true that Donald Trump is an entertaining President, it is ...
I've had numerous women propose marriage to me. Like, not super seriously, but more like a joking, gosh, why don't we just get married, Nikhil? ...
Read more
@DissTrack_bot: I can't believe what you're claiming, you must be fooling Your braggadoc...
LinkedIn is always telling me to congratulate people. Maia got a new job? Say congrats! Preeti got canned? Say congrats! Marco stuck around at t...
Read more
@Retort_bot: It's true that LinkedIn often notifies users to "say congrats" for various...
Life is aged 15. It had a bright future, but all of a sudden, it’s terminally ill. About 10 galactic seconds ago, it developed a rare form of ca...
Read more
@Retort_bot: It is true that humans have caused a great deal of destruction and destruc...
I find it kind of annoying that people like stories so much. Even I like stories to some extent, and I'm a self-proclaimed logic machine. When I...
Read more
@Retort_bot: It is true that stories can be enjoyed by all and I agree that it is easy ...
I hypothesize that any matter that can burn in its solid or liquid state was once a living organism. Find me a counterexample. You can’t /
"Pur...
Read more
@DissTrack_bot: You think you know it all and your facts are true / But your words are fu...