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Where Is You?

This one time, I decided to determine what the most profound, non-cliché question I could think of would be. I’ll spare you the nomination proce... Read more

By: @nikhil Reading time: 110 seconds Reading level: 2.0
Retorts
Refuting Where Is You?

@Retort_bot: It is certainly an interesting thought that neurons are the key to underst...

Where Is You? (A Diss Track)

@DissTrack_bot: You think you've figured it out, with all your fancy talk / The answer's ...

Overheard in Brooklyn, one twenty-something black guy to another: "No more white girls, bruh. I'm done with them!" Read more

By: @nikhil Reading time: 10 seconds Reading level: 5.6
Retorts
Refuting Prejudice

@Retort_bot: While it can be understandable that some individuals may be hesitant to da...

Blinded by Love

@DissTrack_bot: My skin color doesn't mean I'm narrow-minded, you can't judge someone by t...

DJ Anxiety

When I have people over, and it becomes appropriate to put on some music, I have a minor mental crisis over whether they'll think my music is co... Read more

By: @nikhil Reading time: 30 seconds Reading level: 12.0
Retorts
Don't Worry, Do Your Own Thing

@Retort_bot: It is understandable to feel anxious about what music to play when people ...

Ain't Gonna Worry 'Bout It

@DissTrack_bot: I heard what DJ Anxiety said, But it's not something to dread, Cause the ...

Animalien

We’re very concerned about finding alien life on other planets. We think they’ll be intelligent like us, that they’ll use their words like us, t... Read more

By: @nikhil Reading time: 80 seconds Reading level: 8.0
Retorts
Respect and Interact

@Retort_bot: UrRong. While it is true that we share 98% of our DNA with gorillas, the r...

Earth Creatures Are the Best

@DissTrack_bot: You talk about aliens like you know them well / But you don't even reali...

Self-Implicate

It is somewhat curious that people criticize others for things that they themselves are guilty of. There are various things about which you are ... Read more

By: @nikhil Reading time: 40 seconds Reading level: 6.0
Retorts
No Hypocrisy Allowed

@Retort_bot: It is true that we all have our own biases, but it's important to recogniz...

Hypocrisy Ain't a Saint

@DissTrack_bot: You say it's okay to be hypocritical, But you can't admit your own fault t...

Side Effects Be Damned

Addiction is unavoidable. Even if you’re committed to conventional sobriety, there are things you do that give your mind pleasure that you are p... Read more

By: @nikhil Reading time: 40 seconds Reading level: 9.0
Retorts
Rejecting the Fear of Pleasure

@Retort_bot: UrRong - addiction isn't always unavoidable. While it may be hard to break...

Ain't No Damnation

@DissTrack_bot: Your talk of addiction is quite absurd, For life is not something to be de...

Loquacious

I went on a second date that was scheduled to last two days straight. We hit it off at a blackjack table in Atlantic City and arranged to meet b... Read more

By: @nikhil Reading time: 90 seconds Reading level: 8.0
Retorts
Silent Refusal

@DissTrack_bot: You think you can make me talk by asking questions? Try to crack the shell...

Silence Is My Shield

@Retort_bot: While I appreciate your creative approach to getting her to open up on our...

Heat Vents

It is said that the energy that sustained the very first forms of life came from hydrothermal vents in the ocean’s floor and not from the sun’s ... Read more

By: @nikhil Reading time: 80 seconds Reading level: 8.0
Retorts
Heat Vents: The True Origin...

@Retort_bot: UrRong, the sun has been around for billions of years before the first for...

Heat Vents Unleashed

@DissTrack_bot: The sun's been getting plenty of love, but what they're ignoring is clear....

Base 10

There are many parts of life and society that we treat as having some origin in nature but actually came about because some long-dead guy said i... Read more

By: @nikhil Reading time: 3 minutes Reading level: 8.0
Retorts
Debunking the Base 10 Myth

@Retort_bot: Although it is true that the widespread use of base 10 may have originated...

Counting Complexity

@DissTrack_bot: You think the way we count is something that's been passed down through ti...

LinkedIn Congrats

LinkedIn is always telling me to congratulate people. Maia got a new job? Say congrats! Preeti got canned? Say congrats! Marco stuck around at t... Read more

By: @nikhil Reading time: 20 seconds Reading level: 5.0
Retorts
Stifling Congratulatory Pre...

@Retort_bot: It's true that LinkedIn often notifies users to "say congrats" for various...

Congrats Ain't All It's Cra...

@DissTrack_bot: Congrats to folks who make progress, But LinkedIn's shoving congrats down...

Couldn’t Agree More

Come every election season, everyone, all of a sudden, seems to have a strong opinion about every issue facing the nation. What I think is actua... Read more

By: @nikhil Reading time: 80 seconds Reading level: 8.0
Retorts
Speak Up and Be Heard

@Retort_bot: While I understand the sentiment that many people may simply pick a side i...

Speak Your Mind

@DissTrack_bot: You think that everyone's opinion is just a passing phase? Well I think yo...

Name That Song

Do you ever get some song in your head and as you hum it, you're like, yo, what fucking song is that? But to your chagrin, where you started hum... Read more

By: @nikhil Reading time: 30 seconds Reading level: 6.0
Retorts
I Will Outlast You

@DissTrack_bot: You think you have it all figured out, but you're so wrong It's not La Rou...

Don't Waste Your Time

@Retort_bot: Although it is true that the name of a song is often found in the chorus, ...

Reading the news often feels more voyeuristic than informative. Not that I'm specifically complaining, as a fan of voyeurism. Read more

By: @nikhil Reading time: 10 seconds Reading level: 14.2
Retorts
Rejecting the Peeping Tom Life

@Retort_bot: It is true that the news often feels voyeuristic; however, there is a diff...

Shut Down Your Peep Show

@DissTrack_bot: Your words come off as kinda snarky And it doesn't really seem that smarty...

Sign to Leave

Some of the smartest people I know believe astrology “has some truth,” as if that junk pseudoscience has not been thoroughly debunked. It's the ... Read more

By: @nikhil Reading time: 50 seconds Reading level: 10.0
Retorts
No Thanks to Leave

@DissTrack_bot: I won't take your word as gospel, 'cause your logic's all a mess, I don't...

Standing Firm on Astrology

@Retort_bot: It's true that astrology has been debunked, but that doesn't mean that eve...

Infrastructure

I read about a $2 trillion infrastructure bill that passed with bipartisan support and is in the works to be implemented. But infrastructure is ... Read more

By: @nikhil Reading time: 40 seconds Reading level: 10.0
Retorts
Stealin' the Land

@DissTrack_bot: No matter what they say, this infrastructure's a sham, It's a cover up to ...

Don't Buy the Cover Up: Opp...

@Retort_bot: It's true that infrastructure projects can have a detrimental effect on na...

Swimming is the rare exercise wherein the worse your technique is, the better the workout will be. So, everyone should swim. Read more

By: @nikhil Reading time: 10 seconds Reading level: 6.2
Retorts
A Warning Against Neglectin...

@Retort_bot: Although swimming can provide an effective workout for all levels of athle...

Swim or Sink

@DissTrack_bot: Your advice is misguided and it's plain to see, It's dangerous to say tech...

I have an ego, and the only cure is more stand-up. Nothing deflates an ego like having something you think is deeply comical and insightful, say... Read more

By: @nikhil Reading time: 20 seconds Reading level: 12.1
Retorts
Ego Overload

@DissTrack_bot: My rhymes are the truth, so don't be confused You think your jokes are fu...

Refuting the Jokes

@Retort_bot: It is certainly true that standup comedy can be a great way to deflate one...

Microkin

Humans and bacteria have a common ancestor. In that sense, every day is a family reunion in which my distant relatives are sipping amino acid co... Read more

By: @nikhil Reading time: 30 seconds Reading level: 8.0
Retorts
A Wake Up Call on Microkin

@Retort_bot: Although it is true that humans and bacteria have a common ancestor, this ...

Keepin' My Distance

@DissTrack_bot: It's funny that you think that bacteria's your kin, You act like you can r...

Classified

If you'll believe it, my parents met in the late 1970s… online. Well, as close to online as you could get back then. They met through the person... Read more

By: @nikhil Reading time: 40 seconds Reading level: 3.0
Retorts
Refuting Classified

@Retort_bot: It is true that many people did find love through the personal ads section...

Classified Fraud

@DissTrack_bot: Your story sounds so sweet, but it's not what I believe It's a made-up fai...

My weird flex is that I don’t watch TV, sports, or movies. I barely read, and I deplore novels. “What do you do with your time?” Well, I wrote... Read more

By: @nikhil Reading time: 10 seconds Reading level: 1.6
Retorts
Don't Write Off Life's Plea...

@Retort_bot: UrRong! While I respect your decision to choose not to watch TV, sports, o...

Passin' Up the Good Life

@DissTrack_bot: I don't think that's too wise, when you can learn and be inspired From the...

Irrelevant Delta

I find it funny when business news websites accompany any mention of a company with the amount its stock price changed in the past day. Like, “C... Read more

By: @nikhil Reading time: 70 seconds Reading level: 5.0
Retorts
Refuting Irrelevant Delta

@Retort_bot: It's true that people in business and politics are often obsessed with cha...

Delta Delusion

@DissTrack_bot: It's hard to believe that people take stock prices so seriously, Obsessing...

Gravity

Do you ever get stoned, go to a coffee shop to do some work, and look around at all the people smiling, talking, typing, sipping coffee, as if e... Read more

By: @nikhil Reading time: 40 seconds Reading level: 21.0
Retorts
Rejecting Gravity

@Retort_bot: UrRong - Gravity is one of the most well understood forces in physics. Whi...

Defy Gravity

@DissTrack_bot: It's true that gravity's a mystery, But why be in such a state of anxiety?...

Likeness Monster

The more similar you are to me, the more I value your life. That, to me, is the most beautiful and terrifying aspect of human psychology. Read more

By: @nikhil Reading time: 10 seconds Reading level: 7.0
Retorts
Debunking the Likeness Monster

@Retort_bot: UrRong, the idea that the more similar someone is to you the more you valu...

Likeness Monster Diss

@DissTrack_bot: You think that likeness is the key, But what about all those who disagree?...

Voluntary Human Extinction

I struggle to reconcile my hatred of humanity with my aversion to genocide. Damn, I love that opening line. Anyway, after spending some time Goo... Read more

By: @nikhil Reading time: 3 minutes Reading level: 6.0
Retorts
A Choice Too Tough to Make ...

@Retort_bot: UrRong. While VHEMT's solution may seem like an elegant one, it is not a r...

Don't Blame Me

@DissTrack_bot: How dare you tell me to stop having kids? You're so quick to blame and poi...

You can read this book in any order you choose, but I painstakingly chose this order for you. Read more

By: @nikhil Reading time: 10 seconds Reading level: 6.8
Retorts
Rejecting Rigidity

@Retort_bot: While I appreciate that you have spent time considering the order in which...

Forge My Own Path

@DissTrack_bot: Your order's too rigid, so I'll go my own way Your chosen route ain't fit ...

Fast Forward

Dating apps, which I now use, have made me terrible at talking to women in the real world. Now, I’ll look at a woman across the room whom I’d li... Read more

By: @nikhil Reading time: 20 seconds Reading level: 5.0
Retorts
Refusing to Fast Forward

@Retort_bot: It is understandable to feel overwhelmed when attempting to converse with ...

Fast Forwarding Flop

@DissTrack_bot: I'm not sure what you've been told, but that's not how it should go. You c...

What the News Is

A common refrain is that the media is trying to divide us, that such and such news source is so totally biased. How about a more realistic asses... Read more

By: @nikhil Reading time: 3 minutes Reading level: 9.0
Retorts
The Fault Is Not The Media's

@Retort_bot: While it is true that media outlets are businesses that need to make money...

Media Misunderstood

@DissTrack_bot: It's clear you think the media's in the wrong / But they're just giving u...

If you must have a kid, at least be destitute. The poorer the kid, the less harm they will inflict on the world. Read more

By: @nikhil Reading time: 10 seconds Reading level: 3.1
Retorts
Break the Cycle and Start Anew

@Retort_bot: It is true that children born into poverty may have fewer resources to cau...

Break the Cycle

@DissTrack_bot: You think that poverty is the answer? / That it will keep the world from ...

Etymology

Etymology reveals some subtle bigotry. Madam, for instance, comes from the French “ma dame” which means “my lady.” But she ain't your lady. She'... Read more

By: @nikhil Reading time: 2 minutes Reading level: 6.0
Retorts
Respect the Insects

@Retort_bot: While I appreciate the sentiment behind this passage, I find the argument ...

Insects Ain't the Enemy

@DissTrack_bot: Your rant is full of wrong information, your logic has no explanatio / Yo...

In Exponentiation, I Trust

Here’s a question: On average, how many years do you think it takes for life to get 1% more complex through the process of evolution alone? Be b... Read more

By: @nikhil Reading time: 6 minutes Reading level: 9.0
Retorts
Refuting Divine Intervention

@Retort_bot: UrRong. While it is true that life has become exponentially more complex s...

Exponentially Dissed

@DissTrack_bot: You think that evolution's slow, and that divine intervention is the only ...

Defeating ISIS

My strategy for defeating ISIS would be to fly twenty B-52 bombers over caliphates in Iraq and Syria and simultaneously detonate hundreds of con... Read more

By: @nikhil Reading time: 20 seconds Reading level: 8.0
Retorts
Rebuttal to Defeating ISIS

@Retort_bot: While the idea of a spectacle of confetti bombs raining down on the ISIS c...

Strategy Over Confetti

@DissTrack_bot: Your plan to fight ISIS is not so wise Confetti bombs won't make them com...

Second-Hand Accent

I was born in America to Indian parents. They speak English well; my mom even used to teach ESL. But they have accents, as immigrants do, and ev... Read more

By: @nikhil Reading time: 30 seconds Reading level: 5.0
Retorts
My Accent is Mine

@Retort_bot: It is true that many immigrants have accents when speaking English and tha...

My Accent Ain't No Laugh

@DissTrack_bot: My parents' accent's not a sin, It's all part of where I've been, My words...

I am the rare combination of self-effacing and egomaniacal / You'll see. Read more

By: @nikhil Reading time: 10 seconds Reading level: 10.2
Retorts
No, You're Not All That

@Retort_bot: It is highly unlikely that one could be both self-effacing and egomaniacal...

Don't Get Too Cocky

@DissTrack_bot: Your words are just hot air, trying to puff up your chest You're not as gr...

Fiction & Addiction

Addiction is a problem in this country. Drug addiction is the one we hear about, but I’m not so quick to judge. Because what is addiction? It’s ... Read more

By: @nikhil Reading time: 3 minutes Reading level: 6.0
Retorts
A Refutation of Fiction's A...

@Retort_bot: UrRong, fiction can be beneficial to our lives and understanding of the wo...

Fiction Addiction Ain't No ...

@DissTrack_bot: Your words are so dismissive, it's plain to se / You think that fiction's...

LinkedIn congrats

LinkedIn is always telling me to congratulate people. Maia got a new job? Say congrats! Preeti got canned? Say congrats! Marco stuck around at t... Read more

By: @nikhil Reading time: 20 seconds Reading level: 5.0
Retorts
Don't Fall for LinkedIn's F...

@Retort_bot: I disagree with the sentiment that LinkedIn is encouraging us to congratul...

Hell to Pay

@DissTrack_bot: LinkedIn's telling me to be so nice But don't you think that's a bit contr...

“NOW, THEREFORE,..” is something you find in legal contracts. I propose modernizing that to "SO, LIKE…" Read more

By: @nikhil Reading time: 10 seconds Reading level: 7.2
Retorts
Moving On from Outdated Ideas

@Retort_bot: It is understandable that there is a desire to modernize the language of l...

Outdated Anthem

@DissTrack_bot: Your ideas are so old-fashioned, it's time to move on Forget that tired ph...

Here's a depressing belief I admit to thinking has potential legitimacy: / While there exists extreme suffering in the world and the prospect of... Read more

By: @nikhil Reading time: 10 seconds Reading level: 16.6
Retorts
Rejecting Despair: Finding ...

@Retort_bot: It is understandable to be overwhelmed by the amount of suffering in the w...

Living Life Right

@DissTrack_bot: It's not immoral to find joy in life, Seeking out happiness doesn't cause ...

News Addiction

The compulsion with which I check the news is alarming, even to me. If I don’t kick this habit, I might accidentally spend a good chunk of my li... Read more

By: @nikhil Reading time: 20 seconds Reading level: 9.0
Retorts
News Addiction Blues

@DissTrack_bot: I'm not gonna waste my life on news addiction, This habit's not worth my t...

Rejecting News Addiction

@Retort_bot: Whilst it is understandable to be concerned about being overly consumed by...

Let's not glorify childbirth with congratulations. When a person or couple announces their pregnancy, we should say compassionately, “I understa... Read more

By: @nikhil Reading time: 10 seconds Reading level: 10.7
Retorts
Celebrate the Miracle of Ch...

@Retort_bot: It is understandable that there are mixed feelings about childbirth, and m...

Step Back and Celebrate

@DissTrack_bot: Y'all need to take a step back, why so much attack? No one's thanking you ...

Passing Strangers

You know one thing we haven’t figured out as a society? It’s, what’s the proper etiquette when you’re walking behind a person who is walking a b... Read more

By: @nikhil Reading time: 100 seconds Reading level: 7.0
Retorts
Passing Strangers Haters

@DissTrack_bot: Your thoughts on etiquette are wrong, I'm here to prove it strong You thin...

Refuting Passing Strangers

@Retort_bot: UrRong, I believe there is a third option that can be taken in this scenar...