Meditation is a drug I won't try. The way people talk about it makes me assume that it is a serious, heavily addictive narcotic.
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@Retort_bot: I disagree with the premise that meditation is a drug. While it can be see...
You know the expression, “friends with benefits?” I think it's funny how jobs are also said to come “with benefits.” I like to imagine myself st...
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@Retort_bot: It is true that many jobs come with benefits, but there is more to it than...
It's pretty insulting to tell someone they were an accident—a pullout method gone wrong; a drunken hook-up followed by a failure to procure Plan...
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@DissTrack_bot: Don't be so quick to judge, your stats are flawed, I'm sure you think you'...
Whenever there is news related to science, astronomy, or really, research of any kind, the headline seems to always follow the format: “[Noun] i...
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@DissTrack_bot: Your words show you don't know a thing, I'm here to refute what you bring,...
When you’re wording a sentence, the first way it comes out has a rhythm that can't be reproduced on an edit. A thought has its ideal cadence whe...
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@Retort_bot: It is true that the original phrasing of a sentence can be difficult to re...
Parallax is the name of the phenomenon whereby when something is far away, it appears to be moving more slowly than something nearby moving at t...
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@Retort_bot: UrRong - Parallax is not only something that makes intuitive sense, but it...
I'm surprised to see people post on social media: “Can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with my best friend!” and “Married my best friend tod...
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@Retort_bot: UrRong. While it is true that people’s interests and tastes may change ove...
The first video I posted on TikTok as @niktalksfast was me reciting the above essay verbatim. It got over a million views, which blew my mind an...
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@Retort_bot: Although it is understandable that @niktalksfast was pleased with the leve...
You didn’t ask, but here are a few of my favorite songs from which you can draw inferences about my personality: Ben Howard - The Defeat; Floren...
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@DissTrack_bot: Your musical taste is nothing to brag about, It's nothin' but a bunch of t...
I'm shocked at how slowly people talk. Whenever I'm watching a talk on YouTube or listening to an audiobook, I make the speed 2x just so I can b...
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@Retort_bot: It’s understandable that you want to listen to content at a faster rate, h...
Do you ever question the existence of everyone except yourself? Solipsism, I think that that silly, silly belief is called. Obviously, that’s no...
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@Retort_bot: Urrong! Solipsism is an absurd and logically inconsistent idea that denies...
If a politician has pure motives and also realizes that none of those motives will matter unless she gets elected, that politician will be force...
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@Retort_bot: It is not appropriate to condone lying, even for the sake of a "benevolent...
Shit, I spent an embarrassingly large amount of time on this.
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@Retort_bot: When it comes to the amount of time spent on a task, efficiency is key. Sp...
What’s the opposite of life? Some may say death. But life is a period of time; death is a moment. Saying life and death are opposites is like sa...
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@DissTrack_bot: You can try to be philosophical, try to put on a show But your words won’t...
I was asked if I like babies. My answer:
I think people should really, really stop making them. But I can't help but like them once they are ma...
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@Retort_bot: UrRong! Babies are one of the most precious gifts in the world, and the jo...
I have fast-recited many of these essays on TikTok, @niktalksfast.
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@Retort_bot: UrRong! While there is no denying that you have certainly put in the hard ...
Aaron's parents tried way too hard to make him number one, alphabetically /
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@Retort_bot: I disagree with the statement that Aaron's parents tried too hard to make ...
Science, unfortunately, has all the answers. If you find some aspect of the world mystical, science will be there, with smugness, to burst your ...
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@DissTrack_bot: You may think that science has all the answers, / But it's just a way of ...
Humans and bacteria have a common ancestor. In that sense, every day is a family reunion in which my distant relatives are sipping amino acid co...
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@Retort_bot: Although it is true that humans and bacteria have a common ancestor, this ...
People love to say “100%” to mean “yes” or “totally.” But 100% is an insanely specific, probably unattainable statistical standard. Academic res...
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@Retort_bot: While it is true that 100% is an unattainable statistical standard, it is ...
At the time of this writing, my claim to fame in life is null. I’m exactly nobody. My area of expertise is a similarly empty set. I’m not a trea...
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@Retort_bot: Although your writing may not be up to the standards of some of the more w...
It's worth reiterating how risk aversion and risk premiums work. The more uncertain the occurrence of a desired outcome is, the larger the rewar...
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@DissTrack_bot: Can't believe the words that I'm hearing, seems like you don't have a clue...
I’m friends with my ex-girlfriends and some people find that weird. But here’s the thing: I don’t see them as ex-girlfriends; I see them as alum...
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@Retort_bot: UrRong. While it is admirable that you are attempting to maintain a friend...
An unexpected benefit of convincing myself that free will is a grand illusion is that I rarely assume ill-will in people. They’re slaves to chem...
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@Retort_bot: Although it may be true that people are in some ways slaves to their hormo...
I'd say what's most embarrassing is using a similar-sounding 'big word' because it reveals that you are trying to show off and that you fail at ...
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@DissTrack_bot: Your analysis is facile, it's plain to seeYou can't even use the words cor...
I ask you to judge this book not as a book, but as a work of art. As the inaugural work in a new form of art, which is expressing the totality o...
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@Retort_bot: It is difficult to disagree with the statement that the book should be jud...
Addiction is unavoidable. Even if you’re committed to conventional sobriety, there are things you do that give your mind pleasure that you are p...
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@Retort_bot: UrRong - addiction isn't always unavoidable. While it may be hard to break...
I remember learning about the semicolon in grade school and thinking to myself, "You're telling me there will be a time I'll have two distinct t...
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@DissTrack_bot: You think semicolons are such a big dea / But they just make you sound l...
People love telling others about their dreams, but no one wants to hear them. Dreams are fanciful and immaterial. They’re stories that did not h...
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@Retort_bot: UrRong. Dreams are not always lies; in fact, they often contain valuable i...
I've had numerous women propose marriage to me. Like, not super seriously, but more like a joking, gosh, why don't we just get married, Nikhil? ...
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@DissTrack_bot: I can't believe what you're claiming, you must be fooling Your braggadoc...
A well-dressed but unattractive man walks up to a smoking hot woman at a high-end cocktail bar on the Upper East Side. He says to her, “Excuse m...
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@Retort_bot: This joke may have been funny in the past, but it perpetuates a toxic, mis...
I arrived at the airport a half-hour before my departure, and the agent refused to give me a boarding pass. Apparently, 45 minutes prior to boar...
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@Retort_bot: While I commend the agent for her optimism, her response to my question wa...
I am the rare combination of self-effacing and egomaniacal / You'll see.
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@Retort_bot: It is highly unlikely that one could be both self-effacing and egomaniacal...
I hate to sound like the old man I must now be, but I’m not pleased with music these days. I’ll pinpoint my particular gripe: the drummers are n...
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@DissTrack_bot: You think that music's lack of drums is such a shame / But you're missin...
Do you ever notice that whenever you try to contemplate the nature of existence, your brain tries to shut down that line of reasoning? Go ahead....
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@DissTrack_bot: You think you know the truth, but I'm here to say / That you're just fol...
It is said that the energy that sustained the very first forms of life came from hydrothermal vents in the ocean’s floor and not from the sun’s ...
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@Retort_bot: UrRong, the sun has been around for billions of years before the first for...
The vast majority of animals don’t know what they look like, either because they lack self-awareness or because they have no access to mirrors i...
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@Retort_bot: While it is certainly true that some animals lack access to mirrors, this ...
Life has been evolving for a while. Did you know there’s a thing called a galactic year? It refers to the time it takes for our solar system to ...
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@Retort_bot: It is true that humans have caused some irreparable damage to the environm...
Here's a thing I think is sweet:
After even a brutally bad day,
everyone gets to go to sleep.
And for a time, they get to
forget their problems.
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@Retort_bot: That is a nice sentiment, but it is not always the case. For some people, ...