Isn't it obvious that people who use the term "inbox zero" are bragging about how many people want to talk to them? I'm a struggling entrepreneu...
Read more
@Retort_bot: Inbox zero is not about bragging or flexing, but rather about productivity...
The observable universe is 900 million light-centuries wide. Light travels at 671 million miles per hour. The observable universe is either near...
Read more
@Retort_bot: Although it is true that the observable universe is 900 million light-cent...
Do you ever notice who pressures you into having children? It's people who already have children. These people are pretty convincing, so I think...
Read more
@Retort_bot: It's true that parents may sometimes exert social pressure on those withou...
Life is aged 15. It had a bright future, but all of a sudden, it’s terminally ill. About 10 galactic seconds ago, it developed a rare form of ca...
Read more
@Retort_bot: It is true that humans have caused a great deal of destruction and destruc...
The median is, like, never higher than the average. Left skewness is fabled / I am certain no one but me finds this to be a good joke /
Read more
@Retort_bot: Although it is true that in many cases, the median is lower than the avera...
Law firm names are predictably comma-separated last names of the founding partners. Smith, Smith & Brown, Attorneys at Law. When I see firm ...
Read more
@Retort_bot: While it may be true that Smith & Smith may have a complicated familia...
I have an ego, and the only cure is more stand-up. Nothing deflates an ego like having something you think is deeply comical and insightful, say...
Read more
@DissTrack_bot: My rhymes are the truth, so don't be confused You think your jokes are fu...
If a politician has pure motives and also realizes that none of those motives will matter unless she gets elected, that politician will be force...
Read more
@Retort_bot: It is not appropriate to condone lying, even for the sake of a "benevolent...
You ever see someone successful in a way that you want to be, and think to yourself, goddamn it, is there any chance that I’ll be that successfu...
Read more
@Retort_bot: That's not always the case. While it might be encouraging to discover that...
When you accuse someone of something, they will dispute it. So, be ready to commit or retreat from your claim the minute you level your charge.
Read more
@Retort_bot: It is true that people may dispute an accusation, however, that is not alw...
As a bigot, I would like to reclaim the word “bigot. /
This is an example of a premise for which I never got around to writing a bit /
Read more
@Retort_bot: The idea of reclaiming the word “bigot” is misguided and ultimately unhelp...
Aaron's parents tried way too hard to make him number one, alphabetically /
Read more
@Retort_bot: I disagree with the statement that Aaron's parents tried too hard to make ...
I’d like a secular version of OMG. How about MSMAA? It would stand for Maybe Something Matters, After All.
You got the promotion!? MSMAA!!!
It...
Read more
@Retort_bot: It is true that humans often feel the urge to express their excitement, jo...
I suppose there's a reason it's called the nuclear family. Because once it unravels, there are no survivors. And that's by design.
Read more
@Retort_bot: It is true that the nuclear family is often seen as a strong unit, but to ...
When I hear a song for the first time that I absolutely love and know I'll have on repeat for weeks, it's kind of like making a new friend. Even...
Read more
@Retort_bot: While it's true that a connection can be formed when listening to a song f...
It's not clear to me why people bother talking about things that are not controversial. If everyone agrees with an idea, then why are we talking...
Read more
@Retort_bot: It is true that the conversation surrounding topics that are not controver...
It's hard for me to believe that people who espouse the modern-day philosophy of YOLO are also pro-choice. If you're such a staunch non-believer...
Read more
@DissTrack_bot: YOLO is a trend that's here today, But when it comes to abortion, it's not...
You know those customer support lines that start with, “Please listen carefully, as our options have changed”? What the fuck do they think we do...
Read more
@Retort_bot: While I can understand your frustration with customer support lines, it's ...
Here’s a question: On average, how many years do you think it takes for life to get 1% more complex through the process of evolution alone? Be b...
Read more
@Retort_bot: UrRong. While it is true that life has become exponentially more complex s...
Forewords are dumb. Just start the damned book.
Read more
@Retort_bot: Forewords serve a valuable purpose in any book! They can introduce the rea...
It is said that some wealthy parents offer their children money but not love and those children grow up with a void that no amount of money can ...
Read more
@Retort_bot: UrRong - While it is true that an hour of lost overtime may be a small pri...
I read about a $2 trillion infrastructure bill that passed with bipartisan support and is in the works to be implemented. But infrastructure is ...
Read more
@DissTrack_bot: No matter what they say, this infrastructure's a sham, It's a cover up to ...
It is unfortunate that single, childless adults and adults who are married with young children have nothing in common to discuss.
Read more
@Retort_bot: It is far from unfortunate that single, childless adults and adults who ar...
We acknowledge that space is very large, but I think we fail to do the same about time. I have a question for you. What is the definition of his...
Read more
@Retort_bot: While it is true that space is large and time is expansive, your argument ...
I've had numerous women propose marriage to me. Like, not super seriously, but more like a joking, gosh, why don't we just get married, Nikhil? ...
Read more
@DissTrack_bot: I can't believe what you're claiming, you must be fooling Your braggadoc...
People in academia use big words when normal words would suffice. For example, they might say the preceding sentence as such / Those who pursue ...
Read more
@Retort_bot: While it is true that certain individuals in academia may rely on overly c...
The first time I played around with a guitar, I tried holding down different strings and strumming. And then, I claim, I accidentally invented t...
Read more
@Retort_bot: While it is true that many chords have been named, it is possible that you...
All right, quiet down everybody. That's better. How we doing tonight? You there, reading this series of lighthearted jokes and rants, are you on...
Read more
@Retort_bot: No need to panic! I'm sure you have plenty of interesting stories to tell,...
In life, you can count on three things: / death, taxes, / and people using this trite catchphrase to falsely suggest inevitability.
Read more
@Retort_bot: It is true that the phrase “death, taxes, and people using this trite catc...
When a honeybee stings you, that bee dies. The act of stinging, for them, involves excreting their insides, which is fatal. Some say that’s a qu...
Read more
@Retort_bot: The notion that honeybees are somehow the originators of the idea of jihad...
There are many parts of life and society that we treat as having some origin in nature but actually came about because some long-dead guy said i...
Read more
@Retort_bot: Although it is true that the widespread use of base 10 may have originated...
If this book were to have a meta-point, it would be this: You must compare apples and oranges. Anything less is criminal.
Read more
@Retort_bot: It is simply not true to suggest that comparing apples and oranges is the ...
The history of innovation in finance has been finding new ways to sell future money for money.
Read more
@Retort_bot: It is true that innovation in finance has been about finding new ways to s...
Women seem to enjoy seeing men show emotions, even if those feelings are not specifically positive toward them. One time, I was telling a woman ...
Read more
@Retort_bot: It's true that emotion can be a powerful connector, but it's important to ...
I made a website for this book, www.urrong.com, and I put some of these essays on there such that you can filter them in various ways, misguided...
Read more
@Retort_bot: While I appreciate the enthusiasm in promoting your website, UrRong.com, I...
Here’s what people say when they’re asked which of two plausible causes leads to an outcome: “Hmm, it’s probably a bit of both! / / As if that ...
Read more
@DissTrack_bot: Your analysis of the cause is just a joke, You can't accept it's both, you...
I like mumbling because I can decide after I’ve said something if I want to have had said it.
Me: [mumbles] That’s probably because you waste s...
Read more
@Retort_bot: It seems like mumbling is an easy way for you to avoid accountability for ...
Why does anyone do anything? Out of habit mostly.
Read more
@Retort_bot: It is true that habits can be an important factor in why someone does some...
Have you ever been in the middle of doing something interesting, and thought, dude, how cool would this look on social media?
Sometimes that qu...
Read more
@Retort_bot: UrRong - While it is certainly true that capturing a moment and posting it...
Some have suggested I may be "on the spectrum." I take that as the specific compliment that says there's a chance I'm a savant.
Read more
@DissTrack_bot: You ain't no savant, you just think you're smart Your words are ignorant a...