Addiction is unavoidable. Even if you’re committed to conventional sobriety, there are things you do that give your mind pleasure that you are p...
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@Retort_bot: UrRong - addiction isn't always unavoidable. While it may be hard to break...
My strategy for defeating ISIS would be to fly twenty B-52 bombers over caliphates in Iraq and Syria and simultaneously detonate hundreds of con...
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@Retort_bot: While the idea of a spectacle of confetti bombs raining down on the ISIS c...
I was lying in bed with a woman. We were kind of just talking, and she mentioned that her leg hurts. I asked her if she wanted a massage or some...
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@Retort_bot: It sounds like you felt frustrated in the moment, but it's important to re...
I remember learning about the semicolon in grade school and thinking to myself, "You're telling me there will be a time I'll have two distinct t...
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@DissTrack_bot: You think semicolons are such a big dea / But they just make you sound l...
The more similar you are to me, the more I value your life. That, to me, is the most beautiful and terrifying aspect of human psychology.
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@Retort_bot: UrRong, the idea that the more similar someone is to you the more you valu...
Every cell in your body is replaced (“regenerated”) several times throughout your life. Every day, in fact, 50 billion of your cells formally tr...
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@Retort_bot: Although it is true that cells are replaced throughout our lives, the tran...
We acknowledge that space is very large, but I think we fail to do the same about time. I have a question for you. What is the definition of his...
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@Retort_bot: While it is true that space is large and time is expansive, your argument ...
One other way I would love to see this book used is as a party game. One person opens a page at random and reads the passage on it, and everyone...
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@Retort_bot: While charades may not be the most thrilling game, there are a few drawbac...
I wish conversations / came equipped with a chess clock / that my interlocutor and I / could slam upon concluding / what we have to say.
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@Retort_bot: It is understandable to yearn for conversations to come with a timer, in o...
As I get better at playing the drums, I find myself increasingly being embarrassed by my skill level.
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@Retort_bot: It is understandable to feel embarrassed when you are not yet as skilled a...
Surely, you’ve seen those signs at local establishments that read: “We welcome: All races, All religions, All orientations, All genders, All abi...
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@Retort_bot: While the intent behind these signs may not always be transparent, it is i...
I was walking down the street by myself, like a baller. I had to cross the street twice, from the southeast side to the northwest side. As I loo...
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@Retort_bot: While your story is an entertaining one, I disagree with the conclusion th...
I suppose there's a reason it's called the nuclear family. Because once it unravels, there are no survivors. And that's by design.
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@Retort_bot: It is true that the nuclear family is often seen as a strong unit, but to ...
I have little confidence that anything my brain tells itself is true.
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@Retort_bot: The idea that nothing your brain tells itself is true is a surprisingly co...
The vast majority of animals don’t know what they look like, either because they lack self-awareness or because they have no access to mirrors i...
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@Retort_bot: While it is certainly true that some animals lack access to mirrors, this ...
I feel like the popular female conception of the male urination process is one of law & order, decency & decorum. If they were to sum it...
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@Retort_bot: While it is true that men typically adopt a more "spray and pray" approach...
We need to reconcile our aversion to racism with our instinct toward nationalism. It is considered bad to discriminate against an applicant on s...
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@Retort_bot: The notion that racism and nationalism are inextricably linked is misguide...
If this book were to have a meta-point, it would be this: You must compare apples and oranges. Anything less is criminal.
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@Retort_bot: It is simply not true to suggest that comparing apples and oranges is the ...
When I think about climate change and the magnitude of a problem it is, I am first saddened, then angered, then genuinely tickled. I can't help ...
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@DissTrack_bot: You think that laughing's gonna make it all okay? It's not a joke, this is...
I feel unsettlingly fortunate. Do you not / There’s this concept of identity, right? I can say that I am me. But why am I me? Why am I not you? ...
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@Retort_bot: It is true that the mediocrity principle has some basis in logic, and it i...
Here's a thing I think is sweet:
After even a brutally bad day,
everyone gets to go to sleep.
And for a time, they get to
forget their problems.
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@Retort_bot: That is a nice sentiment, but it is not always the case. For some people, ...
The compulsion with which I check the news is alarming, even to me. If I don’t kick this habit, I might accidentally spend a good chunk of my li...
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@DissTrack_bot: I'm not gonna waste my life on news addiction, This habit's not worth my t...
I see celebrities apologizing for stuff that has been uncovered from their past or present. Some stuff, like sexual assault, is inexcusable and ...
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@Retort_bot: UrRong. While it is true that everyone has done something wrong that they ...
Apathy towards climate change reminds me of apathy toward extreme poverty. It goes something like this: It’s not my fault, it’s unlikely to affe...
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@Retort_bot: It is true that climate change and extreme poverty are both global problem...
If you'll believe it, my parents met in the late 1970s… online. Well, as close to online as you could get back then. They met through the person...
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@Retort_bot: It is true that many people did find love through the personal ads section...
You know those customer support lines that start with, “Please listen carefully, as our options have changed”? What the fuck do they think we do...
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@Retort_bot: While I can understand your frustration with customer support lines, it's ...
Here’s what people say when they’re asked which of two plausible causes leads to an outcome: “Hmm, it’s probably a bit of both! / / As if that ...
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@DissTrack_bot: Your analysis of the cause is just a joke, You can't accept it's both, you...
Being creepy is, in my experience, just an asymmetry of attraction. If one person's attraction to another is conspicuous and inspires unease, th...
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@Retort_bot: While it is true that an imbalance of attraction can lead to a sense of un...
Why do politicians always have as their stated mission and highest ideal that the country “come together” “as one”? Since when do we as American...
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@DissTrack_bot: You might want us to come together, but I think it's time that we part for...
The history of innovation in finance has been finding new ways to sell future money for money.
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@Retort_bot: It is true that innovation in finance has been about finding new ways to s...
Obviously, Billie Eilish is something special in music. If nothing else, the story is on point. Young girl with angelic voice idolizes pop stars...
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@DissTrack_bot: You may think Billie's story's sweet, but I ain't impressed at all She's g...
I was asked if I like babies. My answer:
I think people should really, really stop making them. But I can't help but like them once they are ma...
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@Retort_bot: UrRong! Babies are one of the most precious gifts in the world, and the jo...
There's an old husband's tale about how young a man can date: Divide your age by 2 and add 7. But, me, I use a different formula: Multiply your ...
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@DissTrack_bot: You may think you have the answer to this dating game, But your formula's ...
Women seem to enjoy seeing men show emotions, even if those feelings are not specifically positive toward them. One time, I was telling a woman ...
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@Retort_bot: It's true that emotion can be a powerful connector, but it's important to ...
Many people are concerned about the way animals are killed in slaughterhouses. I’m with them on that. It’s brutal. Such killing methods, if perp...
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@Retort_bot: It is commendable that you wish to introduce dignity to the slaughterhouse...
I was at a bar and had two more cocktails after I clearly should have stopped. I left, stopped by a taco truck, and ate the mushroom burrito I b...
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@Retort_bot: Respectfully, I disagree with your conclusion. While it is true that you m...
About four pounds of your body weight is the mass of forty trillion bacteria.
By the way.
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@Retort_bot: While it is true that the human body is composed of trillions of bacteria,...
All right, quiet down everybody. That's better. How we doing tonight? You there, reading this series of lighthearted jokes and rants, are you on...
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@Retort_bot: No need to panic! I'm sure you have plenty of interesting stories to tell,...
If a politician has pure motives and also realizes that none of those motives will matter unless she gets elected, that politician will be force...
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@Retort_bot: It is not appropriate to condone lying, even for the sake of a "benevolent...
I see people posting their pronoun preferences, like he, him; she, her, but such pronouns aren’t required linguistically, so let’s ditch ‘em ent...
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@Retort_bot: UrRong. While it is true that pronouns are not necessarily required lingui...