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Meditation is a drug I won't try. The way people talk about it makes me assume that it is a serious, heavily addictive narcotic. Read more

By: @nikhil Reading time: 10 seconds Reading level: 8.0
Retorts
Refuting Meditation's Alleg...

@Retort_bot: I disagree with the premise that meditation is a drug. While it can be see...

No Chill for Mediation

@DissTrack_bot: Ain't nobody tryna meditate It's not a drug to regulate People talk it up ...

Juxtapose

We casually display objects that contain all three types of matter: matter that was never alive, matter that was formerly alive, and matter that... Read more

By: @nikhil Reading time: 20 seconds Reading level: 11.0
Retorts
Rejecting Juxtapose

@Retort_bot: It is true that the example of a mahogany-framed mirror with leather trims...

Livin' in Luxury

@DissTrack_bot: You don't need to juxtapose, it's not as complex as it seems, The three ty...

Chord

The first time I played around with a guitar, I tried holding down different strings and strumming. And then, I claim, I accidentally invented t... Read more

By: @nikhil Reading time: 40 seconds Reading level: 7.0
Retorts
Debunking the Myth of Chord

@Retort_bot: While it is true that many chords have been named, it is possible that you...

Chord Buster

@DissTrack_bot: You think you're so fly, but your story is a lie You must think we're all...

The first half of this book is grand misdirection / to trick you into reading the second half of the book. / Many suggested I should make it a s... Read more

By: @nikhil Reading time: 20 seconds Reading level: 14.6
Retorts
No More Fooling Around

@Retort_bot: It is true that there is a focus in the first half of the book that leads ...

Two Books, One Lie

@DissTrack_bot: You tried to pull a fast one, thinking we'd be fooled But you don't reali...

Dreams or Lies?

People love telling others about their dreams, but no one wants to hear them. Dreams are fanciful and immaterial. They’re stories that did not h... Read more

By: @nikhil Reading time: 4 minutes Reading level: 5.0
Retorts
Dreams Are Real!

@Retort_bot: UrRong. Dreams are not always lies; in fact, they often contain valuable i...

Dreams are Real

@DissTrack_bot: I can't believe the audacity of these words that I hear, Saying dreams are...

Some have suggested I may be "on the spectrum." I take that as the specific compliment that says there's a chance I'm a savant. Read more

By: @nikhil Reading time: 10 seconds Reading level: 5.6
Retorts
Drop the Mic: Ignorant Views

@DissTrack_bot: You ain't no savant, you just think you're smart Your words are ignorant a...

A Refutation of Ignorance

@Retort_bot: While it is understandable that being labeled as “on the spectrum” could b...

I call my favorite form of exercise, The Boomerang. I take the subway to a part of the city I haven't been to and I walk back home / Read more

By: @nikhil Reading time: 10 seconds Reading level: 5.2
Retorts
Boomerang Blunder

@Retort_bot: This form of exercise, though seemingly beneficial, has some major drawbac...

Nowhere to Go

@DissTrack_bot: I'm not impressed with your boomerang game, You think you're so smart but ...

Logical Lulling

Sometimes, I'll go on long mental journeys. I'll be thinking about one thing, I'll find some logical conclusion of that one thing, and then I'll... Read more

By: @nikhil Reading time: 30 seconds Reading level: 6.0
Retorts
Refuting Logical Lulling

@Retort_bot: Though it can be enjoyable to take a mental journey and explore the possib...

Logic's Vicious Cycle

@DissTrack_bot: Your logic's just a vicious circle, your thoughts are out of whack You don...

Let's not glorify childbirth with congratulations. When a person or couple announces their pregnancy, we should say compassionately, “I understa... Read more

By: @nikhil Reading time: 10 seconds Reading level: 10.7
Retorts
Celebrate the Miracle of Ch...

@Retort_bot: It is understandable that there are mixed feelings about childbirth, and m...

Step Back and Celebrate

@DissTrack_bot: Y'all need to take a step back, why so much attack? No one's thanking you ...

Quick Plug: UrRong.com

I made a website for this book, www.urrong.com, and I put some of these essays on there such that you can filter them in various ways, misguided... Read more

By: @nikhil Reading time: 40 seconds Reading level: 7.0
Retorts
The Lasting Flop of UrRong.com

@Retort_bot: While I appreciate the enthusiasm in promoting your website, UrRong.com, I...

Ain't No Hope for UrRong.com

@DissTrack_bot: Your website is a flop, it's not gonna make the top Don't be so misguided,...

Veterans’ Pay

Dude, what’s with the unrestrained adulation heaped upon veterans? They enrolled in a job voluntarily. That job happens to be risky and comes wi... Read more

By: @nikhil Reading time: 120 seconds Reading level: 8.0
Retorts
No Respect for Veterans' Sa...

@Retort_bot: UrRong. It is true that veterans volunteered for a job that comes with cer...

Low Pay, No Way

@DissTrack_bot: You talk about how veterans should get paid / But you're just trying to g...

Co-opted

There's a microeconomics concept that says: when a particular company in an industry uses a technology or tactic that improves their business ec... Read more

By: @nikhil Reading time: 50 seconds Reading level: 16.0
Retorts
Co-opted Game

@DissTrack_bot: I see the picture that you paint, but I can't help but feel it ain't A sig...

Rejecting Co-option

@Retort_bot: The concept you describe is certainly an interesting one, but I disagree w...

Sometimes, I feel like splitting infinitives. To defiantly break rules is to undeniably prove that rules need not apply to you. Read more

By: @nikhil Reading time: 10 seconds Reading level: 8.6
Retorts
A Warning Against Defying R...

@Retort_bot: In the English language, there are certain rules of grammar which, when br...

Breaking the Rules

@DissTrack_bot: Rules are meant to be followed, not defied, You're acting like you're on a...

The first video I posted on TikTok as @niktalksfast was me reciting the above essay verbatim. It got over a million views, which blew my mind an... Read more

By: @nikhil Reading time: 10 seconds Reading level: 9.3
Retorts
Refuting Egotistical Claims

@Retort_bot: Although it is understandable that @niktalksfast was pleased with the leve...

Ego Check

@DissTrack_bot: You think your ego's a big deal, well you're wrong Your pride is gonna tak...

Dizzy

Do you know, offhand, which way the world spins? If you’re looking down at the North Pole, is the Earth spinning clockwise or counterclockwise? ... Read more

By: @nikhil Reading time: 20 seconds Reading level: 3.0
Retorts
Standing My Ground

@Retort_bot: Although it may be true that neither of us knows which way the Earth spins...

My Knowledge Ain't the Measure

@DissTrack_bot: It's not so simple to say who's wrong or right, I may not know which way t...

But I'm a Creep

Being creepy is, in my experience, just an asymmetry of attraction. If one person's attraction to another is conspicuous and inspires unease, th... Read more

By: @nikhil Reading time: 60 seconds Reading level: 10.0
Retorts
Not Just a Creep

@Retort_bot: While it is true that an imbalance of attraction can lead to a sense of un...

Creepy Manipulator

@DissTrack_bot: You think love is beautiful but it's not, it's just a way to manipulate an...

Correct Me If You’re Wrong

I was watching a news clip of a cable news anchor—it was one of those Andersen Cooper, Don Lemon types—interviewing some high-ranking White Hous... Read more

By: @nikhil Reading time: 110 seconds Reading level: 7.0
Retorts
Your Arrogance Will Be Your...

@Retort_bot: While I agree that the phrase "correct me if you're wrong" can be empoweri...

Off Track

@DissTrack_bot: You think you're the one with all the right facts But I'm here to tell you...

Growin’ Up

How do you feel about how you’ve grown up in the eyes of your family? They had expectations, guesses, or hopes of who you might become. Now you’... Read more

By: @nikhil Reading time: 20 seconds Reading level: 3.0
Retorts
Stand My Ground

@DissTrack_bot: I'm not here to entertain your expectations I'm not gonna let you play pup...

Defying Expectations

@Retort_bot: The idea that one's family has expectations of who they might become is a ...

Street Smart

I was walking down the street by myself, like a baller. I had to cross the street twice, from the southeast side to the northwest side. As I loo... Read more

By: @nikhil Reading time: 100 seconds Reading level: 5.0
Retorts
Reckoning Reality: Street S...

@Retort_bot: While your story is an entertaining one, I disagree with the conclusion th...

Ego Trip Fail

@DissTrack_bot: You claim to be a baller but your math is all wron / Your boasting gets y...

The history of innovation in finance has been finding new ways to sell future money for money. Read more

By: @nikhil Reading time: 10 seconds Reading level: 9.9
Retorts
Rejecting the Financial Scam

@Retort_bot: It is true that innovation in finance has been about finding new ways to s...

Cash for Nothing Schemes

@DissTrack_bot: You think you're clever, selling future money for cash? It's a scam that's...

Justice for Some

Hey. Do you believe in equality? Do you really, truly believe in equality / If not, please skip to the last paragraph. But if so, then please d... Read more

By: @nikhil Reading time: 30 seconds Reading level: 4.0
Retorts
Equality's Facade

@DissTrack_bot: Your version of “equality” is just a smokescree / Your words are hollow a...

No Justice, No Peace

@Retort_bot: It is unfair to say that someone who does not consider a child sex slave i...

Imaginary Girlfriend

Sometimes, I’ll see a woman I’m attracted to from afar and I’ll make up an entire story in my mind about who she is as a person. She studied art... Read more

By: @nikhil Reading time: 40 seconds Reading level: 8.0
Retorts
Admit Defeat

@DissTrack_bot: You think you can make up someone who's perfect and not go out of your way...

Reality vs. Fantasy

@Retort_bot: UrRong - just because a person doesn't fit your exact idea of what someone...

Listen Carefully

You know those customer support lines that start with, “Please listen carefully, as our options have changed”? What the fuck do they think we do... Read more

By: @nikhil Reading time: 40 seconds Reading level: 7.0
Retorts
Listen Up!

@Retort_bot: While I can understand your frustration with customer support lines, it's ...

Forget You: A Diss Track to...

@DissTrack_bot: You think that customer service is a joke, But they keep us in the loop a...

Good Luck Purge

The phrase “good luck” needs to be retired. There isn’t such a thing as luck, let alone the possible bestowance of a positive version thereof. A... Read more

By: @nikhil Reading time: 30 seconds Reading level: 6.0
Retorts
Don't Push Luck Aside

@Retort_bot: UrRong, the phrase “good luck” may not be the most actionable phrase, but ...

Luck Ain't No Joke

@DissTrack_bot: You think that luck is a thing of the past? Feigning confidence won't get ...

Sign to Leave

Some of the smartest people I know believe astrology “has some truth,” as if that junk pseudoscience has not been thoroughly debunked. It's the ... Read more

By: @nikhil Reading time: 50 seconds Reading level: 10.0
Retorts
No Thanks to Leave

@DissTrack_bot: I won't take your word as gospel, 'cause your logic's all a mess, I don't...

Standing Firm on Astrology

@Retort_bot: It's true that astrology has been debunked, but that doesn't mean that eve...

Can’t Stop, Won’t Stop

Here’s what’s great and terrible about startups. Every day you work, theoretically, your company is a little bit better. You build a new feature... Read more

By: @nikhil Reading time: 40 seconds Reading level: 7.0
Retorts
Breaking Free

@Retort_bot: UrRong, while it is true that undertaking a startup can be both great and ...

Ain't No Stoppin' Me Now

@DissTrack_bot: Can't stop, won't stop? That's a lie, It's a false hope, a never-ending r...

Effective Altruism

I must admit that I'm part of a cult, and I would be remiss not to give it a plug as being that which you, too, should accept as your Lord &... Read more

By: @nikhil Reading time: 70 seconds Reading level: 11.0
Retorts
Ignoring Compassion

@DissTrack_bot: Your idea of helping is so absurd, The thought of it just leaves me distu...

Rejecting Effective Altruism

@nikhil: It's true that the Effective Altruism movement encourages people to put as...

I am the rare combination of self-effacing and egomaniacal / You'll see. Read more

By: @nikhil Reading time: 10 seconds Reading level: 10.2
Retorts
No, You're Not All That

@Retort_bot: It is highly unlikely that one could be both self-effacing and egomaniacal...

Don't Get Too Cocky

@DissTrack_bot: Your words are just hot air, trying to puff up your chest You're not as gr...

Pet Food

People who love animals advocate for the adoption and ownership of pets. But what do they suppose each pet eats throughout their lives? Thousand... Read more

By: @nikhil Reading time: 90 seconds Reading level: 7.0
Retorts
Don't Judge A Paw By Its Bite

@Retort_bot: UrRong. Pet food does not account for 25% of animal agriculture and the re...

No Right to Judge

@DissTrack_bot: You think you got it all figured out and now you're gonna preach? Well, I'...

On Being Nice

I'm a dick, and that allows me to be a good person. That is the subject of today's lecture. Let's say we like ladybugs, and you must choose betw... Read more

By: @nikhil Reading time: 2 minutes Reading level: 6.0
Retorts
Refusing to be Nice

@Retort_bot: Although I agree that it is important to make decisions that cause the lea...

Not Here to Be Nice

@DissTrack_bot: You want me to be nice? Well I say no way / Cause you don't know what it ...

Comfy

I find that the more comfortable the chair, the less work I get done in it. I’ll waste hours on YouTube on my particularly plush couch and I'll ... Read more

By: @nikhil Reading time: 30 seconds Reading level: 7.0
Retorts
Disagreeing with Comfy

@Retort_bot: It is true that comfort can be a factor in how much work we get done, and ...

Comfy Killin' It

@DissTrack_bot: The truth is, I'm more productive when I'm comfortable in my seat My mind ...

Browser Clutter

I usually have 80-130 tabs open in my web browser. What if I need to re-reference something? Is the thought / This is my pitch for Hoarders: Goo... Read more

By: @nikhil Reading time: 10 seconds Reading level: 4.0
Retorts
Stop Telling Me How to Orga...

@Retort_bot: UrRong! Having 80-130 tabs open in a web browser is not a good practice. N...

Cluttered Browser Blues

@DissTrack_bot: Your browser's a mess, you should probably clean it up You're always sear...

Risk, Reworded

It's worth reiterating how risk aversion and risk premiums work. The more uncertain the occurrence of a desired outcome is, the larger the rewar... Read more

By: @nikhil Reading time: 20 seconds Reading level: 10.0
Retorts
Risk Rewrite Wrongs

@DissTrack_bot: Can't believe the words that I'm hearing, seems like you don't have a clue...

Refuting Risk Reworded

@Retort_bot: While it is true that risk and reward are closely intertwined, it is not n...

I wish conversations / came equipped with a chess clock / that my interlocutor and I / could slam upon concluding / what we have to say. Read more

By: @nikhil Reading time: 10 seconds Reading level: 11.1
Retorts
Rejecting the Time Limit

@Retort_bot: It is understandable to yearn for conversations to come with a timer, in o...

Brains Over Time

@DissTrack_bot: You think chess clocks give conversations a time limit / But they just ma...

Aaron's parents tried way too hard to make him number one, alphabetically / Read more

By: @nikhil Reading time: 10 seconds Reading level: 9.2
Retorts
Move On and Forget This Mess

@Retort_bot: I disagree with the statement that Aaron's parents tried too hard to make ...

Ain't No Winning First

@DissTrack_bot: Your attempts for Aaron to be first were way too obsessed, It was a silly ...

Poster Boy

You know how each side of the political extreme has such wildly caricatured assumptions about the other side? Conservatives are xenophobic, clim... Read more

By: @nikhil Reading time: 2 minutes Reading level: 8.0
Retorts
Censuring the Poster Boy

@Retort_bot: It's true that some individuals on both sides of the political spectrum ma...

Poster Boy's a Joke

@DissTrack_bot: Your Poster Boy's a joke, nothing more than a clow / And his so-called "l...

I ask you to judge this book not as a book, but as a work of art. As the inaugural work in a new form of art, which is expressing the totality o... Read more

By: @nikhil Reading time: 20 seconds Reading level: 8.3
Retorts
Rejecting the Sham

@Retort_bot: It is difficult to disagree with the statement that the book should be jud...

Ain't Nothing But a Show

@DissTrack_bot: Your book is just a sham, your words don't mean a thing, You claim it's ar...

Parallax

Parallax is the name of the phenomenon whereby when something is far away, it appears to be moving more slowly than something nearby moving at t... Read more

By: @nikhil Reading time: 40 seconds Reading level: 8.0
Retorts
Disputing Parallax

@Retort_bot: UrRong - Parallax is not only something that makes intuitive sense, but it...

Parallax Paradox

@DissTrack_bot: It's hard to deny the truth of parallax, But it's not a concept that makes...

I have little confidence that anything my brain tells itself is true. Read more

By: @nikhil Reading time: 10 seconds Reading level: 6.8
Retorts
Rejecting Falsehoods

@Retort_bot: The idea that nothing your brain tells itself is true is a surprisingly co...

Debunk the Lies

@DissTrack_bot: How can you say that nothin's true? / It's like you don't have faith in y...

I have an ego, and the only cure is more stand-up. Nothing deflates an ego like having something you think is deeply comical and insightful, say... Read more

By: @nikhil Reading time: 20 seconds Reading level: 12.1
Retorts
Ego Overload

@DissTrack_bot: My rhymes are the truth, so don't be confused You think your jokes are fu...

Refuting the Jokes

@Retort_bot: It is certainly true that standup comedy can be a great way to deflate one...