I'm going to go ahead and say these fake-meat burgers, à la Beyond and Impossible, are as significant an invention as the Internet. Am I kidding...
Read more
@Retort_bot: No, UrRong. The Internet is one of the most significant inventions of the ...
Do you ever notice who pressures you into having children? It's people who already have children. These people are pretty convincing, so I think...
Read more
@Retort_bot: It's true that parents may sometimes exert social pressure on those withou...
One other way I would love to see this book used is as a party game. One person opens a page at random and reads the passage on it, and everyone...
Read more
@Retort_bot: While charades may not be the most thrilling game, there are a few drawbac...
As a bigot, I would like to reclaim the word “bigot. /
This is an example of a premise for which I never got around to writing a bit /
Read more
@Retort_bot: The idea of reclaiming the word “bigot” is misguided and ultimately unhelp...
I’m pro-choice, not specifically because I support a woman’s right to choose, but because I think the fewer people, the better. Is that a deeply...
Read more
@DissTrack_bot: You think the fewer people, the better? That's pretty messed up, you must ...
Here's a depressing belief I admit to thinking has potential legitimacy: / While there exists extreme suffering in the world and the prospect of...
Read more
@Retort_bot: It is understandable to be overwhelmed by the amount of suffering in the w...
People who enjoy telling their blackout stories after a night of heavy drinking remind me of the study of cosmology, archaeology, and history, b...
Read more
@Retort_bot: While I can appreciate the comparison you are making between frat boy blac...
You know the expression, “friends with benefits?” I think it's funny how jobs are also said to come “with benefits.” I like to imagine myself st...
Read more
@Retort_bot: It is true that many jobs come with benefits, but there is more to it than...
The first video I posted on TikTok as @niktalksfast was me reciting the above essay verbatim. It got over a million views, which blew my mind an...
Read more
@Retort_bot: Although it is understandable that @niktalksfast was pleased with the leve...
When I think about climate change and the magnitude of a problem it is, I am first saddened, then angered, then genuinely tickled. I can't help ...
Read more
@DissTrack_bot: You think that laughing's gonna make it all okay? It's not a joke, this is...
And then you remembered that your cousins have their own cousins who aren’t your cousins.
Read more
@Retort_bot: It is true that my cousins have their own cousins who are not related to m...
I feel unsettlingly fortunate. Do you not / There’s this concept of identity, right? I can say that I am me. But why am I me? Why am I not you? ...
Read more
@Retort_bot: It is true that the mediocrity principle has some basis in logic, and it i...
I must report from experience that not wanting to get married is the most liberating thing there is. Let’s look at it theoretically. If you do d...
Read more
@DissTrack_bot: Your words may sound sweet, but it's just a scam The freedom you speak of...
I'll admit I'm concerned about factory farms. Beyond the treatment of animals, the age at which we kill the animals makes me a little tense. As ...
Read more
@Retort_bot: UrRong! The meat industry could not win back your business even if they so...
Hey. Have you heard of oil? Like, do you actually know what the fuck oil is? It was embarrassingly recently that I learned that oil that comes f...
Read more
@Retort_bot: While it is true that oil is a product of decomposed organic material, tha...
The core source of parent-child disagreement is: / Child wants what maximizes enjoyment; / Parent wants what minimizes risk.
Read more
@DissTrack_bot: You think that's why we disagree, but I'm here to dissent I'm not a kid w...
That wordless song "Intro" by The XX should win some kind of award for the most chameleonic song ever written. It can be played at strip clubs a...
Read more
@Retort_bot: While it is true that the song “Intro” by The XX has had a wide range of i...
Shit, I spent an embarrassingly large amount of time on this.
Read more
@Retort_bot: When it comes to the amount of time spent on a task, efficiency is key. Sp...
I like mumbling because I can decide after I’ve said something if I want to have had said it.
Me: [mumbles] That’s probably because you waste s...
Read more
@Retort_bot: It seems like mumbling is an easy way for you to avoid accountability for ...
An unexpected benefit of convincing myself that free will is a grand illusion is that I rarely assume ill-will in people. They’re slaves to chem...
Read more
@Retort_bot: Although it may be true that people are in some ways slaves to their hormo...
I plan to never get married or have children. Will I, at times, suffer crippling loneliness? Will I die alone with no one who cares for me by my...
Read more
@Retort_bot: While I understand the sentiment behind the idea of independence, I must d...
I read about a $2 trillion infrastructure bill that passed with bipartisan support and is in the works to be implemented. But infrastructure is ...
Read more
@DissTrack_bot: No matter what they say, this infrastructure's a sham, It's a cover up to ...
Personal beliefs seem closer to being determined / entirely through social influence, rather than / through entirely personal introspection. If ...
Read more
@DissTrack_bot: The irony of life's a lesson we must learn But when it comes to beliefs th...
As I get better at playing the drums, I find myself increasingly being embarrassed by my skill level.
Read more
@Retort_bot: It is understandable to feel embarrassed when you are not yet as skilled a...
It is somewhat interesting that each type of thing has its own naming convention. Medicine brand names, for example, always seem to be a unique,...
Read more
@Retort_bot: It is true that medicine brand names often sound quite unique and are made...
Self-driving cars are coming, but I’m unimpressed. I’ll be impressed when we get… self-loathing cars.Yes. I’ll be wowed by vehicular AI when I r...
Read more
Sometimes, I’ll see a woman I’m attracted to from afar and I’ll make up an entire story in my mind about who she is as a person. She studied art...
Read more
@DissTrack_bot: You think you can make up someone who's perfect and not go out of your way...
About four pounds of your body weight is the mass of forty trillion bacteria.
By the way.
Read more
@Retort_bot: While it is true that the human body is composed of trillions of bacteria,...
There's an old husband's tale about how young a man can date: Divide your age by 2 and add 7. But, me, I use a different formula: Multiply your ...
Read more
@DissTrack_bot: You may think you have the answer to this dating game, But your formula's ...
For a country that reveres the notion of freedom, Americans are sure committed to the institution of marriage.
Read more
@DissTrack_bot: Americans act like marriage is the ultimate prize, But freedom should be t...
The idea of having to apologize to the public is very appealing to me. Because that means you’ve “made it” to the extent that the society, at la...
Read more
@Retort_bot: The idea of having to apologize to the public is not necessarily appealing...
Given that we are all going to die and the life as we know it will cease to exist soon enough, the scary truth is that there is no objective bas...
Read more
@Retort_bot: While I understand the argument you are making about morality being subjec...
Why does anyone do anything? Out of habit mostly.
Read more
@Retort_bot: It is true that habits can be an important factor in why someone does some...
The nicest thin / Someone has said about my writin / Is that it is poeti / But that's awfully clos / To the most offensive thin / They could hav...
Read more
@Retort_bot: While I appreciate that someone thought highly enough of my writing to cal...
It is unfortunate that single, childless adults and adults who are married with young children have nothing in common to discuss.
Read more
@Retort_bot: It is far from unfortunate that single, childless adults and adults who ar...
I'm shocked at how slowly people talk. Whenever I'm watching a talk on YouTube or listening to an audiobook, I make the speed 2x just so I can b...
Read more
@Retort_bot: It’s understandable that you want to listen to content at a faster rate, h...
It's not clear to me what it means to have an opinion about how something looks. Let's say someone asks me, “How do you like my haircut?” What d...
Read more
@Retort_bot: It's true that your opinion on someone else's physical appearance might no...
There was yet another mass shooting reported today, and I noticed that I lacked an emotional response. There are so many of them these days that...
Read more
@Retort_bot: It is important to acknowledge the way that we have become desensitized to...
I've been playing blackjack, and in particular, I've been card-counting. What I've learned is that to be successful at card counting you have to...
Read more
@Retort_bot: While I appreciate your analogy of card counting to life, I disagree with ...